# Jokes About — MATH?!

Who doesn't love a good joke?

Here are some real zingers to share with family and friends. Who would have thought math could be so funny?

## Units of Measure You Rarely See

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

10 cards = 1 decacards

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

10 aches = 1 kilohurtz

10 microphones = 1 megaphone

10 noses = 1 piconose

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

2 untruths = 1 paralyze

## Have You Heard This One?

How can you make time fly?

*Throw a clock out the window!
*

Why did the math book look so sad?

*Because it had so many problems.
*

What kind of food do math teachers eat?

*Square meals!
*

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

*Because it had more cents.
*

Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?

*At a yard sale.
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Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?

*Otherwise it would be a foot.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

*The temperature.
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The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

*Footsteps.
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What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it?

*A hole.
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Which is heavier, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

*The same — a pound is a pound!
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I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man on Earth can't hold me for more than 5 minutes. What am I?

*Breath.
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Why would you take a ruler to bed with you?

*To see how long you sleep.
*

## Can You Solve This?

You have a barrel of root beer and you need to measure out just 1 gallon. How do you do this if you only have a 3 gallon container and a 5 gallon container?

*Fill the 3 gallon container with root beer and pour it into the 5 gallon container. Then fill the 3 gallon container again and keep pouring it into the 5 gallon container until it is full to the brim. One gallon will be left in the 3-gallon container.
*

These tongue twisters were compiled by Edie Coletti for Great Expectations