Keeping Your Child Safer in the World: Tips for Children, Teens, and Parents Second Edition September 2001 Published and funded by The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) Published in braille by National Braille Press Inc. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), a national clearinghouse and resource center, is funded under Cooperative Agreement 98-MC-CX-K002 from the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view or opinions in this publication are those of NCMEC and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children(r) is a registered service mark of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Copyright (c) 1994 and 2001 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Contents Basic Rules of Online Safety for Preteens Basic Rules of Online Safety for Teens Detecting Sexual Exploitation Just in Case¼Babysitter Just in Case¼Daycare Just in Case¼Exploitation Just in Case¼Family Separation Just in Case¼Federal Parent Locator Service Just in Case¼Finding Professional Help Just in Case¼Grief Just in Case¼Missing Just in Case¼Runaway Just in Case¼Testifying Know the Rules¼After-School Safety for Children Who Are Home Alone Know the Rules¼For Child Safety in Amusement or Theme Parks Know the Rules¼For Child Safety in Youth Sports Know the Rules...For the Holidays and Safe Shopping Know the Rules¼General Parental Tips to Help Keep Your Children Safer Know the Rules...Safety Tips for Halloween Know the Rules¼School Safety Tips Know the Rules¼Summer Safety Tips for Children Know the Rules¼Summer Safety Tips for Parents Know the Rules¼When Your Child is Flying Unaccompanied Know the Rules for Teens Knowing My 8 Rules for Safety for Preteens What You Can Do To Prevent Child Abduction and Exploitation Dear Parents and/or Trusted Adults*: No doubt you are concerned about doing everything possible to protect your children from abduction and sexual exploitation. Although these topics can be frightening, balanced, matter-of-fact, and common-sense family discussions can minimize fears and maximize the awareness and skills needed to reduce the odds of your children becoming victims. As the nation's resource center for child protection, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) offers these tips as useful tools to help safeguard your children. NCMEC spearheads national efforts to locate and recover missing children and raises public awareness about ways to prevent child abduction, molestation, and sexual exploitation. A private, nonprofit organization established in 1984, NCMEC operates under a Congressional mandate and works in cooperation with the United States Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention to coordinate the efforts of law enforcement, social-service agencies, elected officials, judges, prosecutors, educators, and the public and private sectors to break the violent cycle that perpetuates these needless crimes against children. NCMEC is a national voice, mobilizer, and advocate for those too young to vote or speak up for their own rights-our children. We are working to make our children's childhoods safer. Since its creation in April 1984 NCMEC has played a role in the recovery of more than 60,000 missing children, worked on more than 86,000 cases involving missing and exploited children, handled more than 1.5 million telephone calls on our national toll-free Hotline 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678), and received more than 50,000 reports on our CyberTipline at www.cybertipline.com. We have circulated millions of photographs of missing children and trained more than 170,000 law-enforcement officers nationwide, in Canada, and in Europe. NCMEC publishes a wealth of information regarding safety and prevention strategies. Please visit our web site at www.missingkids.com or call 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678) to learn more about NCMEC's programs and publications. And if your child should ever be missing, timing is critical for beginning the search. Immediately call your local law-enforcement agency and then the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678). NCMEC can work with your local law-enforcement agency and offer search strategies that are tailored to cases of runaway children; family abduction; nonfamily abduction; and lost, injured, or otherwise missing children. Sincerely, National Center for Missing & Exploited Children *Throughout this edition the word "parent(s)" is interchangeable with the words "trusted adult(s)." Basic Rules of Online Safety for Preteens * I will not give out personal information such as my address, telephone number, parents' work address/telephone number, or the name and location of my school without my parents' permission. * I will tell my parents right away if I come across any information that makes me feel uncomfortable. * I will never agree to get together with someone I "meet" online without first checking with my parents. If my parents agree to the meeting, I will be sure that it is in a public place and bring my mother or father along. * I will never send a person my picture or anything else without first checking with my parents. * I will not respond to any messages that are mean or in any way make me feel uncomfortable. It is not my fault if I get a message like that. If I do I will tell my parents right away so that they can contact the online service. * I will talk with my parents so that we can set up rules for going online. We will decide upon the time of day that I can be online, the length of time I can be online, and appropriate areas for me to visit. I will not access other areas or break these rules without their permission. These tips are adapted from Child Safety on the Information Highway. Copyright (c) 1994 and 1998 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Basic Rules of Online Safety for Teens * keep your identity private. * never get together with someone you "meet" online. You never know for certain if people you meet online are who they say they are. * never respond to E-mail, chat comments, or newsgroup messages that are hostile, belligerent, inappropriate, or in any way make you feel uncomfortable. Sending a response just encourages the person. * talk with your parents about their expectations and ground rules for going online. Communicating with your parents doesn't mean that you have to give up your privacy. It just means that you come to an agreement based on mutual trust and understanding. These tips are adapted from Teen Safety on the Information Highway. Copyright (c) 1998 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Detecting Sexual Exploitation Sexual exploitation should not be confused with physical contacts that are true expressions of affection. A warm and healthy relationship can exist if adults respect the child and place reasonable limits on their physical interaction. Child molesting is often a repeat crime. Many children are victimized a number of times. The reality of sexual exploitation is that often the child is very confused, uncomfortable, and unwilling to talk about the experience to parents, teachers, or anyone else. But the child will talk if you have already established an atmosphere of trust and support in your home, where your child will feel free to talk without fear of accusation, blame, or guilt. Parents should be alert to these indicators of sexual abuse * changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness, and excessive crying. * bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed, or other sleep disturbances. * acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest in sexual matters. * a sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior. * regression to infantile behavior. * a fear of certain places, people, or activities, especially being alone with certain people. Children should not be forced to give affection to anyone if they do not want to. Be alert to signs that your child is trying to avoid someone and listen carefully when your child tells you how he or she feels about someone. * pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas. If you observe any of the above listed indicators of sexual exploitation, discuss the behavior with your child. If your child discloses the fact that he or she has been exploited or you suspect that your child has been exploited * safeguard your child from interacting with the suspected exploiter. * seek medical attention for your child. * alert law enforcement and the appropriate social-services agency in your area. * consider the need for counseling or therapy for your child. These tips are adapted from Child Protection and Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be the Victim of Sexual Exploitation (c) 1985 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Babysitter Finding a Babysitter * the best sources of child-care information are recommendations of family, friends, and neighbors. * you may wish to check for sitters through your local high school, church, or civic organization. * check the yellow pages of the telephone book under "Sitting Services." * check with any babysitting services in your area. * check to see if local governmental offices provide a listing of child-care services in your area. Hiring the Babysitter * make a list of possible babysitters. * check the sitter's personal references and contact past employers, teachers, counselors, relatives, friends, and neighbors to ask about their character and child-care skills. * ask your local law-enforcement agency for information available to the public and prospective employers on the background of potential babysitters. If possible in your locality, screen for any criminal history in sexual or physical assault against children, emotional instability, and substance abuse. * interview all prospective sitters and observe their interaction with your children. * outline the babysitter's duties and responsibilities. Discuss potential situations that could arise while you are out of the home and ask the sitter how he or she would handle those situations. * carefully record identifying information about the babysitter you hire. When the Babysitter Arrives * tell the sitter exactly where you will be and how you can be reached. * provide the sitter with a list of persons he or she can contact in an emergency including a friend, relative, or neighbor; the local law-enforcement agency and fire department; ambulance service; poison-control center; and the children's doctor. * carefully review family rules and daily routines. * take the babysitter on a tour of the house making sure to show him or her all doors and exits and any first-aid equipment. Tell the Babysitter * to lock all doors when you leave. * to watch the children carefully while they are awake and keep them away from dangerous objects or chemicals. * not to permit visitors or guests, nor leave the child alone in the house. * to regularly check on the children once they go to sleep and stay awake during his or her entire stay in your home. * to take messages from anyone calling the house without telling the caller that the children are alone with a babysitter. * not to open the door to anyone unless you have given prior permission for him or her to do so. * to watch the children carefully when they are playing outside, make sure to lock all doors and windows of the residence if going out on a preapproved trip with the children, and carefully check the residence before reentering for any signs of suspicious activity. If it appears that the residence has been broken into, immediately call law enforcement from another location. Upon Returning Home * ask the babysitter if the children are safe and if anything unusual happened. * make sure the babysitter is escorted home and wait until he or she is safely inside before leaving. * once the babysitter has left, ask your children about what happened while you were gone. Make sure to ask them about the games they played and if anything happened that made them feel uncomfortable. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case You Need a Babysitter (c) 1986 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Daycare While the vast majority of daycare centers are safe, care needs to be taken when choosing one for your child. When Choosing a Daycare Center Parents Should * make sure that you as the parent are free to visit, unannounced, at any time. * make sure that the bathrooms do not contain areas where children can be isolated. * make sure that there is proper supervision of the children at all times, especially during naps. * ask about the extent of education and training of all daycare personnel, volunteers, and any other people who will be interacting with your child, and determine if they have been and continue to be screened for any criminal history in sexual or physical assault against children, emotional instability, and substance abuse. * discuss, in detail, the daycare center's disciplinary rules. Tips for Children in Daycare * be strong and assertive. You have the right to say no to anyone who tries to take you away from the daycare center; make you do something that is wrong; or make you do something that causes discomfort, embarrassment, or physical or emotional pain. * no one should touch you in the parts of the body covered by the bathing suit, nor should you touch anyone else in those places. * do not remain alone with an adult in an isolated place. * do not let anyone trick you by threatening you or by bribing you with gifts or candy. * no matter what someone tells you, no one has "magical" powers to harm you, your pets, or your parents. * do not let anyone take your picture in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be sure to tell your parents if someone takes your picture for any reason. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case You Are Considering Daycare (c) 1989 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Exploitation If your child indicates that he or she has been the victim of sexual exploitation Don't * panic or overreact to the information discussed by your child. * criticize or blame your child. Do * respect your child's privacy. * support your child and his or her decision to disclose the abuse. * show physical affection and express your love and confidence with words and gestures. * explain to your child that he or she has done nothing wrong. * remember that children seldom lie about acts of sexual exploitation. * keep open the lines of communication with your child. Steps to Take * safeguard your child from interacting with the suspected exploiter. * seek medical attention. * alert law enforcement and the appropriate social-services agency in your area. * consider the need for counseling or therapy for your child. Remember How you react to your child's disclosure of sexual exploitation is an important part of child protection and will play a critical role in helping him or her recover. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be the Victim of Sexual Exploitation (c) 1985 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Family Separation If you feel that your child's noncustodial parent may kidnap your child, discreetly keep lists of information about your former partner such as his or her Social Security number, driver's license number, car registration number, checking and savings account numbers, and other information that may help to locate him or her. Once you obtain custody of your child, in order to protect against a parental kidnapping, you should request the special provisions noted below in your custody order. * make sure visitation matters are sufficiently specific to be enforceable. * include a clause prohibiting the removal of your child from the state without the consent of a judge or you the custodial parent. * investigate the possibility of having the judge require your former partner to post a bond to ensure that custody and visitation rights will not be violated. * in cases of friction between parents with joint custody, it is especially important that the custody order specify which parent is to have the child at exactly what times. * you may request the court to prohibit the removal of the child from this country without your written permission or prior court approval. * treat child support and visitation as separate issues. In most areas the refusal to pay child support is not a legal ground for denying visitation, and the denial of visitation is not a legal ground for failing to pay child support. Consider custody mediation rather than a heated court trial as a way of working out an agreement because a noncustodial parent who feels threatened may be likely to abduct your child. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case You Are Considering Family Separation (c) 1986 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Federal Parent Locator Service The Federal Parent Locator Service (FPLS) is a computerized national location network operated by the Office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) in the United States Department of Health and Human Services. Federal law allows the use of the FPLS in parental kidnapping or child custody cases for the limited purpose of criminal-enforcement actions and civil-court proceedings. How Can a Parent Use the FPLS? * check with your state child support office to see if your state has an agreement with the FPLS. * in cases of a family abduction, contact your local law-enforcement agency or prosecutor's office if a criminal investigation or prosecution has been initiated in your case. * in cases of civil child custody, contact a state judge or other "agent of the court" or any agent or attorney of a state with the authority or duty of enforcing child-custody determinations. * take documentation about the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act of 1980 and the use of the FPLS to assist a law-enforcement officer, prosecutor, judge, attorney, or authorized person. * in order to sanction the use of the FPLS, a law-enforcement officer, prosecutor, judge, attorney, or authorized person must write a letter or sign an authorization form certifying that this inquiry is made. * work with this authorized person to follow up on any additional actions that may be required to pursue this request such as "giving notice" to an abducting or errant parent or filing motions. * the authorization should be sent to the State Parent Locator Service (SPLS) along with the information necessary to identify the abducting or errant parent. * federal confidentiality laws require that information obtained from the FPLS be used by the authorized person for official purposes only and not given to unauthorized individuals-even the searching parent. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Guidelines on Using the Federal Parent Locator Service In Cases of Parental Kidnapping and Child Custody (c) 1988 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Finding Professional Help Families faced with the problem of a missing or sexually exploited child may benefit from the help of a knowledgeable and experienced professional. Finding a Therapist * make sure your therapist is licensed to practice in your state. * try to find a therapist who has a specialty or knowledge about the specific problems faced by your family whether it is a missing and/or sexually exploited child problem or you are seeking assistance in coping with the search for your currently missing child, handling the grief you are experiencing because of the loss of your child, or reunifying the family once your missing child is recovered. Finding a Physician * make sure your physician is board certified in a relevant medical specialty such as pediatrics, family practice, or obstetrics/gynecology. * try to find a physician who has practical experience in conducting medical evaluations of children who are victims of sexual abuse. Where to Find a Therapist or Physician You may find reputable therapists and physicians in your community through the organizations noted below. * nonprofit service providers serving families of missing or exploited children. * local psychological or psychiatric association referral services. * university departments of psychology or psychiatry. * child-abuse hotlines. * child-protective-services agencies. * rape-crisis or sexual-assault centers. * family-court services or court-appointed, special-advocates (CASA) groups. * crime-victim-assistance programs in the law-enforcement agency or prosecutor's (district attorney's) office. Finding an Attorney Missing-child cases and cases of child sexual exploitation can have complex legal issues. Parents should consider * legal advice should only come from an attorney. * your attorney should be licensed to practice in the state where your case arose and/or where any trial is likely to occur. * if your child is missing, your attorney should be familiar with criminal parental kidnapping laws, the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA), the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA), and child-snatching laws. * if your child has been sexually exploited or abused, your attorney should be familiar with child-abuse and neglect investigations, the laws about custody and visitation, and new procedures that may be used in trials when a child is a witness. * your attorney should be experienced in conducting trials, especially trials in criminal and family court. * your attorney should be honest with you about the case and vigorously represent your interests. Dealing With Your Therapist, Physician, Attorney * ask about his or her experience and training in dealing with the particular problem experienced by your family. * discuss your child's situation openly, completely, and honestly. You and your child should feel comfortable in dealing with him or her. * provide a complete history so that the professional can properly assess and treat your child. * discuss the fees involved for all services to be rendered and seek any assistance that may be available to you to help meet those expenses. * all professionals have a code of ethics they must follow. If you believe the person you have hired is acting inappropriately, discuss your concerns with him or her. If the concern is not satisfactorily resolved, report your concern to the professional association responsible for monitoring his or her dealings with patients or clients. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Finding Professional Help in Case Your Child Is Missing or the Victim of Sexual Exploitation (c) 1990 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Grief The grieving process is an important stage in a family's attempt to regain stability, improve mental and physical health, and reestablish normal living patterns after the loss of a child. Below is a list of recommendations families should consider upon the loss of a child. * anticipate panic, anxiety, and periods of depression so that you will not be alarmed when they occur. * recognize the personal stress symptoms of fatigue; irritability; isolation; sudden mood swings; and major changes in sleeping, eating, and sexual patterns. Learn to take care of yourself even when you do not feel like it. * realize that your family or friends may grieve in a fashion similar to or quite different from you. * seek out self-help groups and meet with other parents of abducted or deceased children. * anticipate pangs of sadness on the child's birthday, holidays, or special family times. * realize that there is no right time to feel happy or sad. * you will probably go through the stages of grief. They are denial, anger, depression, and then gradual recovery. * if you have other children, attend to their nurturance or make appropriate arrangements for them when you are not up to daily parenting. * stay as close as possible to your spouse or partner. * if your child is still missing, stay in contact with local, state, and national resources that can help you with the search. Networking with others provides greater coverage of the case and more support for you. * when unduly stressed, avoid making major decisions such as quitting your job, moving, or changing your marital status. * you are entitled to breaks. Going out and resuming social contacts does not mean that you have abandoned your child. Do not feel pressure to live up to the expectations of the community. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental and Professional Guidelines in Dealing with Grief Following the Loss of a Child (c) 1987 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Missing The most important key to child safety is effective communication with your child. In the event, however, that your child might someday be missing the instructions below show parents how to prepare for that remote possibility and also offer immediate actions parents should take when they believe their child is missing. Preparation * keep a complete description of your child including color of hair and eyes; height; weight; date of birth; and identifiers such as use of eyeglasses or contact lenses, braces, pierced ears, and other unique physical attributes. * take color photographs of your child every six months. Photographs should be of high quality and in sharp focus so that your child is easily recognizable. Head and shoulder portraits from different angles, such as those taken by school photographers, are preferable. * have your dentist prepare dental charts for your child, and be sure that they are updated each time an examination or dental work is performed. * know where your child's medical records are located. * arrange with your local law-enforcement agency to have your child fingerprinted. Immediate Action If you believe your child is missing * from a private residence, search both inside the structure and the immediate area surrounding it making sure to look in any locations where a child could crawl into or hide. * from a store, the mall, or a park notify the manager or security office and ask for their assistance in searching the immediate area for your child. * and your child is not located after an initial search, call law enforcement. Make sure to identify yourself, explain the circumstances of the disappearance, give a detailed description of your child, ask that an officer be sent to the location to investigate, request law enforcement to enter your missing child's name in the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) computer, respond to all questions they ask, and follow their instructions. * contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678) to request assistance in the search. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be Missing (c) 1985 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Runaway To Help Locate Your Runaway Child * check with your child's friends, school, neighbors, relatives, or anyone else who may know of his or her whereabouts. * report the runaway to your local law-enforcement agency, note the officer you speak with, and request information on all follow-up actions that will be taken by that agency. * provide law enforcement with a recent photograph of and detailed descriptive information about your child. * keep a notebook and record all information on the investigation. * make sure the law-enforcement agency enters your child's name and description into the Federal Bureau of Investigation's NCIC computer. * make sure that law enforcement shares the information on your child with your state's clearinghouse on missing children. * call or check several local spots that your child may frequent and check with area hospitals. * contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678). * call any local or state runaway hotline and the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-4000 to see if your child has left a message. Leave a message for him or her. * make fingerprints and dental records available to law enforcement. Request that this information be added to your child's NCIC entry. * have posters and fliers made and distribute them throughout areas where you believe your child may be. When Your Child Returns Home * make sure to show love and concern. * inform all agencies that have been assisting you in the search. * seek any medical treatment or psychological counseling that he or she may need. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be a Runaway (c) 1985 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Just in Case¼Testifying Testifying in court, while difficult and trying for many adults, may be a highly traumatic experience for a child victim of abduction or sexual exploitation. Below is a list of suggestions that can help you prepare your child to testify in court * do not go over the child's testimony before the courtroom appearance. The defense attorney may ask the child, "Did someone tell you to say that?" Thus, if you have "gone over" your child's testimony with him or her before the trial, you may be thought to have coached the child and influenced the testimony. Try not to discuss the facts of the case with or in front of your child. If the attorney for the defense seeks to question your child before trial, you should consult with the prosecutor, the child's guardian ad litem, a victim/witness advocate, or your own attorney. * any anxiety your child exhibits about testifying in court may be lessened if he or she knows what to expect from the courtroom process. The prosecutor, victim/witness advocate, or a counselor will be familiar with local practices and should provide you with accurate information. * your child can be taught strategies to reduce anxiety before or while testifying. These can include relaxation exercises, mentally rehearsing the testimony, or simply playing with a favorite toy. Again, a therapist or victim/witness advocate can help with ideas. * if your child is a victim of sexual abuse or exploitation, he or she may be especially afraid or embarrassed about telling the story in court. Reassure your child that disclosing the victimization was the right action to take. * remind your child that you know he or she is telling the truth and, no matter what the defense attorney or the defendant says, believe the child. Make sure your child knows that no matter what happens in the legal process, your feelings toward him or her will not change. * advise your child that the most important thing to do in court is to tell the truth. * tell your child that if he or she is confused or does not know the answer, feel free to say so. No one expects the child to remember all the details or to know all the answers. These tips are adapted from Just in Case...Parental Guidelines in Case Your Child is Testifying in Court (c) 1988 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...After School Safety for Children Who Are Home Alone Each day millions of children go to an empty home and are alone for an hour or more. Experts estimate that nearly 5 million school-aged children spend time without adult supervision during a typical week.1 Although the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that school-age children, ages 5-12, be supervised, for many parents this isn't possible. When faced with this situation, the AAP states that maturity-not age-should be the determining factor in whether a child should be left alone.2 There are a number of important points parents should consider prior to allowing their child to be unsupervised after school. Parents need to assess their child. Does he or she have the personality, self-confidence, and judgment skills to accept this responsibility? Will the experience be positive and help build and enhance the child's self-image, or will the experience promote additional anxiety in the child who may be afraid to stay alone? Having a family conference to discuss the arrangement is a good place to start. House rules, expectations of both parent and child, and a daily routine can be defined. At the end of the day, parents can also use the experience to have regular family meetings to help ensure that the arrangement is still working and identify any alterations that need to be made. Here are some steps that you and your children can take to help ensure a positive after-school experience. Before allowing your child to go home alone, you should... * determine if there are other community resources or organizations providing after-school care or support. * ask your child how he or she feels about being alone. Is your child afraid to be left alone, or does he or she have the maturity and initiative to want to assume that responsibility? * decide if you feel that your child can follow directions and solve problems on his or her own. * determine how long your child will be alone, how accessible you or another trusted adult will be in case of an emergency, and how safe the neighborhood is by contacting your local law- enforcement agency and checking the incidence of crime in your neighborhood. * make sure you've set specific rules that are to be followed by your child while he or she is alone and give your child specific instructions on how to reach you at all times. This should also include information on what to do if your child needs assistance and can't reach you right away. * remember that you're in charge, even if it is from a distance. Once you've decided to proceed, you should check to make sure your child knows... * his or her full name, address, and telephone number. * your full name, the exact name of the place where you work, your work telephone number, and any pager or cellular telephone numbers that you may have. * how to make a telephone call to request help in an emergency using 911 or the appropriate number(s) in your area. * how to carry his or her key so that it is hidden and secure. Your name and address should not be on the key, and it may be wise to leave an extra key with a trusted friend or neighbor. * not to walk or play alone on the way home, and never take shortcuts home. * what to do if he or she is being followed. * to always check out the house before entering, looking for doors that may be ajar, windows that may be broken, or anything that doesn't look right, and go to a safe place to call for help if something doesn't seem right. * to always lock the door after entering and make sure that the house is secure. * to immediately check in with you upon returning home to let you know that he or she has arrived safely. * to tell callers that you can't come to the telephone instead of letting people know that he or she is home alone and offer to take a message. * not to open the door for or talk to anyone who comes to the home unless the person is a trusted family friend or relative, he or she feels comfortable being alone with that person, and the visit has been preapproved by you. * to stay alert for true emergencies such as a fire or gas main leak that would require the need to leave the home. * to check with you or a trusted adult if he or she is in doubt about anything. As a parent, you should make sure you have... * a daily schedule of homework, chores, and activities for your child to follow. * a list kept close to the telephone that includes numbers for you, law enforcement, the fire department, an ambulance service, your doctor, a poison control center, and a trusted adult who's available in case of emergency. * written instructions about which, if any, appliances may be used, what to do in case of fire, and how to get out of the house if there is a fire. * a plan if you are detained and what to do if your child's plans change. * instructions about watching television, using a computer, talking on the telephone, and inviting friends over when you aren't home. * time to discuss the day's events with your child. Make sure he or she knows that it is okay to discuss anything with you, especially something that may have made him or her feel uncomfortable in any way. ¹Fact Sheet on School-Aged Children's Out-of School Time. Wellesley, Massachusetts: National Institute on Out-of-School Time, Center for Research on Women, Wellesley College, 1991, page 1. ²Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5-12. New York, New York: American Academy of Pediatrics, 1999, page 42. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...After School Safety for Children Who Are Home Alone. Copyright (c) 2000 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...For Child Safety in Amusement or Theme Parks Family outings are occasions that can be wonderful times for bonding and spending quality time together. And family outings to amusement and theme parks can be special times that leave children with lifelong memories of "meeting" their favorite cartoon character or having their own "real-life" action adventure. It's a "family-favorite" vacation that is enjoyed by millions each year. In fact, nearly 161 million people visited the nation's theme parks in 1997, and that number is expected to rise to more than 182 million parkgoers by 2010.1 As a parent, you know that such outings can also be sources of stress and concern for family members visiting an area with so many new sights and sounds. It's easy for both adults and children to become distracted by all the excitement and attractions. Taking the time to plan your trip and including your children in that process will help make your outing in the park a more enjoyable one from start to finish. Here are a few steps that you and your children can take to help ensure those happy memories. Before going to the park, tell your children... * to enjoy their outing while paying careful attention to where they are and who they are with at all times. * that they should not be alone in the park or become isolated with anyone, even characters in costume. Also tell them not to accept any prizes, offers, or gifts from anyone until they have checked first with you. Children should also be cautioned not to engage in conversation with or offer assistance to anyone until they have checked with you first. * to tell you if anyone approaches them or makes them feel uncomfortable. Tell your children that if they are approached by anyone who tries to take them away to yell, "This person is not my father (mother)!" * that if you become separated while in the park to go to the closest "Help/ Information Center" to ask the people there to "find my parents and bring them to me here at this Center" or, in the case of older children, make the "Help/Information Center" the spot where you can "meet up." Make sure your children understand that they should never search for you on their own or look for you outside the park, especially in the parking lot. * that these rules also apply when they are taking part in a field trip through their school or youth group. And if you are not joining them for that trip, they need to check first with and tell the responsible adult in charge or a designated chaperone if anything is wrong. As a parent you should... * get information about the park, prior to your trip, and review the park guidelines, particularly those regarding lost children. Discuss the information as a family, including what to do if you become separated. Ask your children what they would do in certain situations and practice appropriate actions and responses with your children. * get a map of the park immediately upon arriving, identify the "Help/Information Centers" throughout, and reinforce the idea that these are the places for children to go to in case you become separated in the park. Making a plan beforehand, of what to do in case you are separated, should greatly speed a reunion. * talk to your children about who can help them if they become lost, need assistance, or are in trouble. Examples of these people may be park personnel with nametags or mothers with children. Children should never go off alone with anyone. * not allow your children to wear clothing or carry items on which their names are displayed. * make sure that your children carry some form of identification and family/emergency contact information with them in case they become separated from you or need assistance. * consider dressing your children in or asking them to wear brightly colored clothes so that they may be more easily spotted in the park. * accompany young children on rides in the park. Older children should stay in groups and take a friend with them wherever they go in the park. If you decide to let young children go on rides without you, wait with them in line, watch them enter the ride, and immediately meet them when they exit the ride. * always accompany younger children to restrooms in the park. Older children should not go to the restroom alone. * immediately report any suspicious or inappropriate behavior to authorities. * make certain that your children have change to use the telephone. If you have a cellular telephone or pager, make certain your children know those numbers and that these devices are activated so your children may call you if they become lost. Parents may wish to use two-way radios while in the park, so that family members can stay in touch with each other. * immediately report your children as being missing if you become separated in the park, and be prepared to give an accurate and detailed description of your children. You should carry a current photograph and be able to accurately describe the clothing that the children are wearing. * make certain that there is going to be qualified supervision of the children by responsible adults, if you are considering granting permission for your child to take part in a field trip to an amusement or theme park. ¹Gegax, T. Trent, "Booming Amusement Parks: The Theme is Extreme Forever Young," Newsweek, U.S. Edition, March 30, 1998, page 12. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...For Child Safety in Amusement or Theme Parks. Copyright (c) 2000 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...For Child Safety in Youth Sports What can parents do to better protect their children and assure both their children and themselves that the experience remains positive and productive? First and foremost, parents should have expectations about the coach and program. Parents have expectations that when their child goes to school, the teacher will have the training and expertise needed to teach their child and the school will have the standards and guidelines in place to run efficiently and effectively. There is a tendency to lower the expectations for sporting activities in which the coach is a volunteer and may be a fellow parent or neighbor. Good intentions and a willingness to spend time with children just aren't enough when you're talking about the safety and well-being of children. The questions and answers noted below offer guidelines by which parents can assess their child's sporting activity, including the coach, and help ensure their child's safety and fun in the sport. * does the sports or youth-serving organization conduct a comprehensive background check on coaches that includes a state and federal fingerprint/criminal-history check, a check of sex-offender registries, and reference checks? * does the coach allow children to have fun while playing the sport and emphasize individual accomplishments, or does the coach advocate winning at any cost? * are there other adults who supervise off-site travel, or is the coach alone with children during team sleepovers or trips? * do children use a locker room to dress, and, are there at least two adult supervisors present who are the same sex as the children on the team? * are you as a parent involved in and do you attend your child's sporting events not only to show support for your child but also to have the opportunity to monitor the coach and the coach's interaction with children? * are you as a parent cautious of promises to make your child a champion player or private meetings arranged by the coach outside of scheduled team activities or events? * do you as a parent talk to your child about how he or she likes the coach or sport, listen carefully to your child, and encourage your child to express his or her feelings and keep the lines of communication open? These tips are adapted from Know the Rules...For Child Safety in Youth Sports. Copyright (c) 2000 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...For the Holidays and Safe Shopping * when in a public facility always supervise your child, and always accompany children to the restroom. Make certain your children know to stay with you at all times while shopping and always check first with you or the person in charge before they go anywhere. It is important to know whom they are with and their whereabouts at all times. * if children become separated from you while holiday shopping, teach them to look for people who can be sources of help within the store. For example, a uniformed security officer, store salesperson with a nametag, the person in the information booth, or a uniformed law-enforcement officer can help them. They should not leave the area, and they should never leave the mall or store and go to the parking lot to try and find your car. * make visits to the mall opportunities for your children to practice these "safe shopping" skills. Teach them how to use a public telephone; locate adult sources of help within the mall or a store; and, for older children, go to the restroom with a friend. Practice having them check first with you before going anywhere within a mall or store. Leave clothing with your children's names displayed at home, as it can bring about unwelcome attention from inappropriate people who may be looking for an opportunity to start a conversation with your children. * parents should not leave children alone at public facilities such as video arcades, movie theaters, or playgrounds as a convenient "babysitter" while they are holiday shopping. Never leave children in toy or specialty stores expecting store personnel to supervise and care for your children. They are not trained in this role, and it is not a function of their employment. * if you allow your older children to go to the mall or other activities without you, they need to take a friend. It's more fun and much safer. Older children should check in with you on a regular basis while they are out. Make certain a clear plan is in place to pick them up including where, what time, and what to do in case of a change in plans. * nothing takes the place of your supervision when you are in a public place with your children. If you are going holiday shopping and feel that you will be distracted, make other arrangements for the care of your children. It's easy for you and your children to get distracted with all the sights, sounds, and crowds of holiday shopping, so make certain they stay with you at all times. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...For the Holidays and Safe Shopping. Copyright ( 1991 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...General Parental Tips to Help Keep Your Children Safer While many parents feel that they are faced with new and unprecedented challenges when trying to keep their children safe in today's fast-paced and increasingly global society, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children offers these common-sense, general safety tips to help parents put these challenges into perspective. * make sure you know where each of your children is at all times. Know your children's friends and be clear with your children about the places and homes they may visit. Make it a rule that your children check in with you when they arrive at or depart from a particular location and when there is a change in plans. You should also let them know when you're running late or if your plans have changed so that they can see the rule is for safety purposes and not being used to "check up" on them. * never leave children unattended in an automobile, whether it is running or not. Children should never be left unsupervised or allowed to spend time alone or with others in automobiles, as the potential dangers to their safety outweigh any perceived convenience or "fun." Remind children to never hitchhike, approach a car or engage in a conversation with anyone within a car that they do not know and trust, or go anywhere with anyone without getting your permission first. * be involved in your children's activities. As an active participant, you'll have a better opportunity to observe how the adults in charge interact with your children. If you are concerned about anyone's behavior, take it up with the sponsoring organization. * listen to your children. Pay attention if they tell you that they don't want to be with someone or go somewhere. This may be an indication of more than a personality conflict or lack of interest in the activity or event. * notice when someone shows one or all of your children a great deal of attention or begins giving them gifts. Take the time to talk to your children about the person and find out why the person is acting in this way. * teach your children that they have the right to say NO to any unwelcome, uncomfortable, or confusing touch or actions by others. Teach them to tell you immediately if this happens. Reassure them that you're there to help and it is okay to tell you anything. * be sensitive to any changes in your children's behavior or attitude. Encourage open communication and learn how to be an active listener. Look and listen to small cues and clues that something may be troubling your children, because children are not always comfortable disclosing disturbing events or feelings. This may be because they are concerned about your reaction to their problems. If your children do confide problems to you, strive to remain calm, noncritical, and nonjudgmental. Listen compassionately to their concern, and work with them to get the help they need to resolve the problem. * be sure to screen babysitters and caregivers. Many states now have a public registry that allows parents to check out individuals for prior criminal records and sex offenses. Check out references with other families who have used the caregiver or babysitter. Once you have chosen the caregiver, drop in unexpectedly to see how your children are doing. Ask your children how the experience with the caregiver was, and listen carefully to the responses. * practice basic safety skills with your children. Make an outing to a mall or park a "teachable" experience in which your children can practice checking with you, using pay telephones, going to the restroom with a friend, and locating the adults who can help if they need assistance. Remember that allowing your children to wear clothing or carry items in public on which their name is displayed can bring about unwelcome attention from inappropriate people who may be looking for a way to start a conversation with your children. * remember that there is no substitute for your attention and supervision. Being available and taking time to really know and listen to your children helps build feelings of safety and security. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...General Parental Tips to Help Keep Your Children Safer. Copyright (c) 2000 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...Safety Tips for Halloween * do not allow a child to go "Trick or Treating" alone. Be sure older children take a friend and an adult accompanies young children. * be certain to accompany young children to the door of every house they approach. * be certain that parents are familiar with every house and with all people from which the children receive treats. * children should be cautioned that they should not enter any home without prior permission from their parents. * children should be cautioned not to approach any vehicle, occupied or not, unless they know the owner and are accompanied by a parent. * make sure that all children carry a glow stick or wear reflective clothing. * when using facial masks, make sure that children can see and breathe properly and easily. * all costumes and masks should be clearly marked as flame resistant. * children should be warned to never approach any house that is not well lit and does not have a porch light on. * children should be cautioned to remember any suspicious incidents and report them to their parents and/or the proper official. * children should be cautioned to run away from people who try to trick them with special treats. * children should be instructed to scream and make a scene if anyone tries to grab them or force them, in any way, to go with them. * parents should inspect all treats and dispose of anything that seems to have been tampered with, has been opened, or is not wrapped. * a good alternative to "Trick or Treating" is for parents to organize parties at home, in schools, or in community centers. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...Safety Tips for Halloween. Copyright ( 1990 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...School Safety Tips * always take a friend when walking or riding your bike to and from school. It's safer and more fun to be with your friends. Walk and ride in well-lit areas, and never take short cuts. Follow all the bicycle rules, especially the one about riding on the right side of the street. * stay with a group while waiting at the bus stop. If anyone bothers you while going to or from school, get away from that person, and tell a trusted adult like your parents or teacher. If an adult approaches you for help or directions, remember grownups needing help should not ask children for help; they should ask other adults. * if someone you don't know or feel comfortable with offers you a ride, say no. Never hitchhike, and only accept a ride from someone if your parents have told you it is okay. * if someone follows you on foot, get away from him or her as quickly as you can. If someone follows you in a car, turn around and go in the other direction. Always be sure to tell your parents or a trusted adult what happened. * if someone tries to take you somewhere, quickly get away and yell, "This person is trying to take me away!" or "This person is not my father (mother)!" * never leave school with someone you don't feel comfortable with or know. Always check first with your parents or another trusted adult. If someone you don't know or feel comfortable with tells you that there is an emergency and they want you to go with them, always check first before you do anything. Make sure you tell a trusted adult if you notice someone you don't know hanging around. * leave items and clothing with your name on them at home. If someone you don't know calls out your name, don't be fooled or confused. * if you want to change your plans after school, always check first with your parents. Never play in parks, malls, or video arcades by yourself. Make sure you have your parents' permission, and they know where you are going to be. Never accept money or gifts from anyone until you check first with your parents. * if you go home alone after school, check to see that everything is okay before you go in. Once inside, call your parents to let them know that you are okay. Make sure you follow your "Home Alone" rules of keeping the door locked; not opening the door for or talking to anyone who stops by unless the person is a trusted family friend or relative, you feel comfortable being alone with that person, and the visit has been preapproved by your parents; and not telling people who call that you are home alone. Have a neighbor or trusted adult that you can call if you're scared or if there's an emergency. * trust your feelings. If someone makes you feel scared or uncomfortable, get away as fast as you can and tell a trusted adult. You deserve to feel safe, and you should keep asking until you get the help you need. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...School Safety Tips. Copyright (c) 1994 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...Summer Safety Tips for Children Always check first with your parents or the person in charge before you go anywhere or do anything. Be sure to check in regularly with your parents or a trusted adult when you're not with them. Always take a friend when you play or go somewhere. It's safer and more fun. Don't be tricked by people who offer you special treats or gifts. Never accept anything from anyone without your parents' permission. Stay safer when you're home alone by keeping the door locked; not opening the door for or talking to anyone who stops by unless the person is a trusted family friend or relative, you feel comfortable being alone with that person, and the visit has been preapproved by your parents; and never telling anyone who calls that you're home by yourself. Have a neighbor or trusted adult you can call if you're scared or there's an emergency. Never go into a public restroom by yourself. Never go alone to malls, movies, video arcades, or parks. Take a friend with you, and always check first with your parents to make sure its okay. Don't panic if you feel lost. Identify the safest place to go or person to ask for help in reuniting you with your family. Never search for them on your own, and never go off alone with anyone who is trying to reunite you with your family. Be careful when you play. Stay away from pools, canals, and other bodies of water unless you are with an adult. Don't play near busy streets or deserted areas, and never take shortcuts unless you have your parents' permission. Don't wear clothes or carry items with your name on the outside, and don't be confused just because someone you don't know calls out your name. Don't get into a car or go near a car with someone in it unless you are with your parents or a trusted adult. Never take a ride from someone without checking first with your parents. Be careful playing or riding your bicycle as it gets dark. Sometimes it is difficult for people driving cars to see you. Wear reflectors and protective clothing if your parents say you can play outside after dark. Don't be afraid to say no and get away from any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or confused. Trust your feelings, and be sure to tell a trusted adult if something happens that makes you feel this way. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...Summer Safety Tips for Children. Copyright (c) 1993 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...Summer Safety Tips for Parents Be sure to go over the rules with your children about whose homes they can visit when you're not there and discuss the boundaries of where they can and can't go in the neighborhood. Make sure children know their names, address, and telephone numbers and how to use the telephone. Be sure they know what to do in case of an emergency and how to reach you using cellular or pager numbers. Children should have a neighbor or trusted adult they can call if they're scared or there's an emergency. Caution children to keep the door locked and not to open the door or talk to anyone who comes to the door when they are home alone. If you have arranged for a family friend or relative to stop by, make sure your child feels comfortable being alone with that person. Make certain that they understand not to tell anyone who calls that they are home alone. Don't drop your children off at malls, movies, video arcades, or parks. These are not safe places for children to be alone. Make certain that a responsible adult supervises your younger children at all times when they are outside and away from home. Teach your children in whose car they may ride. Children should be cautioned never to approach any vehicle, occupied or not, unless accompanied by a parent or trusted adult. Make sure your children know to stay away from pools, canals, or other bodies of water without adult supervision. Since daylight lasts longer, be sure your children know their curfew and know to check in with you if they are going to be late. If you allow your children to play outside after dark, make sure they have reflective clothing on and that they stay close to home. Choose babysitters with care. Obtain references from family, friends, and neighbors. Many states now have registries for public access to check criminal history or sex-offender status. Observe the babysitter's interaction with your children, and ask your children how they feel about the babysitter. Check out camp and other summer programs before enrolling your child. See if a background screening check is completed on the individuals working with the children. Make sure that there will be adult supervision of your children at all times, and make sure you are made aware of all activities and field trips offered by the camp or program. Investigate daycare settings thoroughly before placing your child. Make certain that the center or family daycare home is licensed and that parents are free to come and go as they wish. Observe the personnel and activities several times before making your decision and visit unannounced after placement. Be sure all custody documents are in order and certified copies are available in case your child is not returned from summer visitation. Always listen to your children and keep the lines of communication open. Your children are your best source for determining if everything is okay. Teach your children to get out of dangerous or uncomfortable situations right away and practice basic safety skills with them. Make sure they know they can tell you about anything that happens to them that makes them feel uncomfortable. These tips are reprinted with permission from Know the Rules...Summer Safety Tips for Parents. Copyright (c) 1993 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules...When Your Child Is Flying Unaccompanied According to the airlines, more than half a million children fly alone each year. While a child's "solo" flight has all the ingredients of a memorable, exciting adventure, the purpose of these tips is to guide parents and their children in a way that will help prevent negative experiences and help ensure the child's safe and carefree journey from start to finish. Appropriate planning with the airline and your child is the best "in-flight insurance" against any unpleasant travel experiences. To assist you in this process, it helps to know that there are some consistencies among domestic air carriers. For instance, "unaccompanied minor" is the term airlines use to refer to children younger than the age of 18 who are not traveling with an adult. All airlines require a child to be at least 5 years of age to fly unaccompanied. If the flight is not a direct one, some airlines will not allow a child younger than the age of 8 to fly unaccompanied. If the child has a direct flight, an escort fee may not be required. Airlines normally charge from $30-$60 to escort an unaccompanied minor to connecting flights. If two or more children are traveling together, most airlines will not charge an additional escort fee. And, most airlines allow children 12 years of age or older to fly unaccompanied. The rules noted below will help make the flying experience for your child safer and more fun for years to come. * when you make reservations for your child, specify that the child will be flying alone. Whenever possible, book a non-stop or direct flight. Avoid booking the last flight of the day because cancellation of such a flight may result in overnight delays. Ask for a written copy of the airline's policies and procedures for children traveling alone, and review them with your child. * when booking your child's flight, inquire about children's meals to help ensure that your child will enjoy the food. Also, be sure to pack a healthy, "non-messy" snack for the trip. Try to reserve a bulkhead seat, so that your child may relax and airline personnel can more easily check on him or her. * as with any new experience, "practice makes perfect." Thus, plan to visit the airport prior to your child's flight. Take a tour of the gate area, introduce your child to some of the people working for the airline, and explain the basics of the flying experience. Let your child know what to expect, so the experience will not be so daunting. Instruct your child to follow all of the cabin procedures and rules as explained by the flight attendant for his or her comfort and safety. * on the day of the flight, at a minimum, follow the airline's suggested time of arrival prior to the flight's departure. And, with the advent of additional security procedures and nature of travel with a child, you may want to arrive even earlier. Be sure to allow enough time to fill out the mandatory paperwork, pre-board your child on the plane, and ensure that your child is settled prior to general boarding. Remain at the gate until the plane takes off. Should the flight be delayed, your child will be much more comfortable in the waiting area with you than sitting onboard the plane. And if the flight is canceled or redirected, you will want to be there to make alternative arrangements. * airlines will not allow your child to fly if the weather is questionable because the flight may be diverted or a connecting flight canceled. Also, remember how uncomfortable and unnerved you can feel when flying in rough weather or when there is turbulence. Thus, try to avoid these flying conditions for your child. * parents must provide home and work telephone numbers, addresses, and identification. Make certain you have a back-up plan for the person(s) meeting the plane at the destination, in case they are delayed. Alert them that the airline will require photo identification prior to releasing the child. Make certain that your child knows the person he or she is flying to meet, so that an unfamiliar person does not meet him or her. * some airlines provide special and supervised waiting rooms for unaccompanied children with time between connecting flights. Check to see if the airline you choose has such an area. * dress your child comfortably in layered clothing, so he or she may adjust to various cabin temperatures. A change of clothing is a good idea as well. Give your child some spending money, including coins, in case of emergency. * your child should have a carry-on piece of luggage or backpack to hold essentials such as identification, medications, reading materials, and games. Children may use hand-held video games when instructed by airline personnel it is safe to do so, and if the game is not noisy or intrusive to other passengers. Remote control toys are not permitted, as they may interfere with the plane's electronic equipment. Your child's photo identification and medications should be put in an envelope for safekeeping inside the carry-on luggage or backpack. Basic safety rules that apply while flying include advising your child * never to leave the gate area with someone he or she doesn't know or without the supervision of assigned airline staff. * not to become too friendly with other passengers because these are people the child doesn't know. As in any social situation, it's okay for your child to be polite but restrained. Caution your child not to reveal any personal information about him- or herself to other passengers. * that the flight attendants are the "helping adults" to seek out when needing assistance with making restroom visits, needing answers to questions, feeling uncomfortable, or becoming confused by anything or anyone. Be sure that your child knows the flight attendant is the adult onboard who can help him or her, knows how to ask for help using the call button, and feels comfortable in asking for assistance. These tips are adapted from Know the Rules...When Your Child Is Flying Unaccompanied. Copyright (c) 1998 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Know the Rules for Teens * don't go out alone. There is safety in numbers and this rule isn't just for little kids, it applies to everyone. We are always safer if we take a friend, sister, or brother. * always tell an adult where you are going. Letting someone know where you'll be at all times is smart. If you're faced with a risky situation or get into trouble, your family and friends will know where to find you. * say no if you feel threatened. If someone-anyone-touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say no. Whether it is peer pressure about sex, drugs, or doing something that you know is wrong, be strong and stand your ground. Don't be afraid to make your feelings known. These tips are adapted from Know the Rules. Copyright (c) 1998 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. Knowing My 8 Rules for Safety for Preteens * I always check first with my parents or the person in charge before I go anywhere or get into a car, even with someone I know. * I always check first with my parents or a trusted adult before I accept anything from anyone, even from someone I know. * I always take a friend with me when I go places or play outside. * I know my name, address, telephone number, and my parents' names. * I say no if someone tries to touch me or treat me in a way that makes me feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. * I know that I can tell my parents or a trusted adult if I feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. * It's OK to say no, and I know that there will always be someone who can help me. * I am strong, smart, and have the right to be safe. - CHECK FIRST - TAKE A FRIEND - TELL SOMEONE I TRUST IF SOMETHING IS WRONG - STAY STRONG, SMART, AND SAFE These tips are reprinted with permission from Knowing My 8 Rules for Safety. Copyright (c) 1991 and 1999 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved. What You Can Do To Prevent Child Abduction and Sexual Exploitation * know where your children are at all times. Be familiar with their friends and daily activities. * be sensitive to changes in your children's behavior; they are a signal that you should sit down and talk to your children about what caused the changes. * be alert to a teenager or adult who is paying an unusual amount of attention to your children or giving them inappropriate or expensive gifts. * teach your children to trust their own feelings, and assure them that they have the right to say no to what they sense is wrong. * listen carefully to your children's fears, and be supportive in all your discussions with them. * teach your children that no one should approach them or touch them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. If someone does, they should tell you immediately. * be careful about babysitters and any other individuals who interact with your children. * monitor your child's online computer activities. These tips are adapted from Child Protection. Copyright (c) 1985 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved.