OUR SPECIAL Vol. 74 No. 4 July/August 2003 A braille magazine edited for and by blind women Published six times a year by National Braille Press Inc. 88 St. Stephen Street Boston, MA 02115 OUR SPECIAL STAFF MEMBERS Editor: Dana Nichols Hobbies: Janice Ware Psychologist: Dr. Katherine Schneider Food Editor: Mrs. Helen Mueller Handicrafts Editor: Mrs. Jan O'Hara Shopping Editor: Mrs. Lynn Hedl Poetry: Mrs. Helen Mueller Overseas Correspondent: Mrs. Julia Kimbell OUR SPECIAL In 1930 OUR SPECIAL was founded by Francis B. Ie//rardi and was edited by Florence W. Birchard. Annual subscription is $15. """""""""""" "Our Special" is done in Jiffy-Braille, a process that bypasses proofreading in order to provide a quick and less expensive service. There may be occasional errors, but they should not significantly affect your reading; if they do, we would appreciate being notified. 333333333333 CONTENTS FOR JULY-AUGUST 2003 A Note From the Annex """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 3 Healthy Habits--That Aren't """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 5 Going Shopping """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 14 Happy-Marriage Secrets """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 18 Helen's Kitchen Corner """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 22 Janice's Hobby Closet """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 27 A Seemingly Stupid Question--A So Smart Move """"""""""""""""""""""""""" 32 Poetry """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 37 How to Talk So Kids Really Listen """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 41 Can Lifting Weights Help Prevent Osteoporosis? """"""""""""""""""""""""" 47 Handicrafts """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 48 What Makes Your Cat Purr """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 55 Be a Garden Maverick """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 59 Notices """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 65 Make It from a Mix """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 66 Ticket to Love """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 68 Julia's Jottings """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 74 5 Money Rules Every Woman Must Know """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 79 333333333333 A Note From the Annex Hello again! As I write, it is Sunday. Since I work Tuesdays through Saturday, on my confused calendar, today is my Saturday. I'm spending the day off doing the usual working woman off day chores: laundry, cleaning and cooking. In addition to feeding myself something nutritious, I must plan meals for the working week. Lunches are hard to plan. With 120 people in the office, one refrigerator and two microwaves make lunch a problem. Thinking of non-junk foods that don't require keeping cold or heating up taxes my ingenuity. Then there are the evening meals, when I come home exhausted with little time to put a meal together. It continually amazes me that my own mother did that for many years: worked all day, cooked supper for the family, made lunches for the children and adults to take to school or work, and on weekends prepared a large meal for her grown daughters and their families. Maybe we modern women are less organized or energetic. My solution is to cook double portions on weekends and change them slightly, like a plain dress whose look changes with different accessories: meatloaf reincarnated as a sub sandwich or as spaghetti meatballs, for instance. Many of these ideas have come from the recipe column in "Our Special." In this issue, poetry editor Helen Mueller has some recipes that can be used as a light summer supper. Next issue, another reader will give us more recipes she has found. In the last issue of this year, another woman will give us ideas for holiday dishes that can be re-used by changing the accessories. Sharing our ideas like this certainly makes the chore of menu-planning easier for us working women, whether we work in an office or in the home. It will certainly make my evenings more relaxed, and I hope it does yours also.--Dana Nichols """""""""""" Mix two tablespoons of lemon juice with a quart of water and pour into a spray bottle. Bugs hate the lemony smell. 333333333333 HEALTHY HABITS--THAT AREN'T By Erica Lumiere _Woman's _Day February 11, 2003 Sure, eating more vegetables, exercising regularly and washing your hands frequently are all great ways to stay healthy. But it turns out that many other things you do on a regular basis may not be good for you after all. How many of these unhealthy moves are you guilty of? DRINKING DIET SOFT DRINKS TO CONTROL YOUR WEIGHT. Not only is diet soda devoid of nutrients, but it gives you permission to overeat, too. Chalk it up to wishful thinking. Diet soda doesn't have any calories, so many people think they can afford to splurge on something else, says Joy Bauer, M.S., R.D., a nutritionist in private practice in New York City and author of the _90/100 _Weight-Loss _Plan. "I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone drink diet soda instead of regular, only to then blow the calories `saved` on a tub of popcorn or a slice of chocolate cake." Aside from making you feel bloated from the excess gas, diet soda also won't do anything to satisfy your hunger, new research shows. In fact, some scientists suspect that the artificial sweeteners in diet soft drinks actually stimulate appetite, making you more likely to go on a binge. Perhaps the most important reason to give up your diet soda habit: "These drinks are very high in phosphorous, which drains calcium from bones and increases the risk of osteoporosis," says Bauer. "It's much healthier to drink water or flavored seltzer with meals. Let diet soda be a treat." BRUSHING YOUR TEETH FOR TWO MINUTES. "Time alone does not determine whether you've cleaned your teeth thoroughly," says Maria Lopez Howell, D.D.S., a dentist in private practice in San Antonio. "There's no one-size-fits-all formula, because everyone's needs are different. I know it takes me longer than two minutes to visualize where all my teeth are and carefully brush each one with the right amount of pressure. Other people may need less time, depending on how much plaque they have, what they just ate, how sensitive their gums are or even how many teeth they have." The best way to take care of your teeth: Brush them with fluoride paste at least twice a day, for however long it takes. Also, be sure to floss daily and visit your dentist at least twice a year for check-ups and cleanings. BLOWING YOUR NOSE WHEN YOU HAVE THE SNIFFLES. According to a recent University of Virginia School of Medicine study, reaching for tissue may not be the healthiest way to clear congestion when you have a runny nose. "Nasal secretions normally flow from the front of your nose to the back," explains Owen Hendley, M.D., professor of pediatrics and one of the authors of the study. "Blowing your nose reverses the direction of this flow and creates enough pressure to propel mucus back into your sinuses," he says. But that's not the worst part: If your nasal fluid builds up and contains any viruses or bacteria, it might make your cold really worse or even trigger a sinus infection. What's the alternative to letting your nose drip? According to the study, one suggestion is that you're better off using an over-the- counter antihistamine to help dry up any nasal fluid. SLEEPING WITHOUT A PILLOW. Lying flat on your back forces your spine into an unnatural position, which can strain your muscles, joints and nerves. "Your spine isn't meant to be straight," explains Scott D. Boden, M.D., director of the Emory Spine Center in Atlanta. "It has three natural curves: one in your lower back, one in the middle of your back and one near your neck." The way you sleep and the way you position your pillows can help support the normal &+S shape of your spine and make you feel more comfortable, he says. Lying on your side in the fetal position with your knees bent and a pillow tucked between your legs will take the most stress off your back. If you sleep on your back, prop a big, fluffy pillow under your knees to reduce the pressure on the sciatic nerve in your lower back. You can put a small pillow or a rolled-up towel under your neck as long as it doesn't push your chin too far forward. It's not a good idea to lie on your stomach, since sleeping face-down can exaggerate and strain the arch at the base of your spine, says Dr. Boden. TAKING ZINC TO FIGHT COLDS. Some studies suggest that zinc may have antiviral properties that can help you get over a cold more quickly if taken at the first sign of symptoms. The problem is that many remedies contain more than 15 mg of zinc and recommend up to 8 lozenges a day. Such a dose far exceeds the safe upper limit of zinc intake for adults (40 mg a day), especially if you're already getting all the zinc you need from a daily multivitamin supplement. While serious side effects are rare, high doses of zinc can impair the immune system and interfere with your body's ability to absorb copper and iron (needed for healthy red blood cells), says Pat Kendall, Ph.D., R.D., professor of nutrition at Colorado State University in Fort Collins. Excess zinc can also drag down your level of HDL "good" cholesterol and increase your risk of having a heart attack. The bottom line: Don't habitually supplement with zinc to short-circuit a cold or for prolonged periods. TYPING WITH YOUR WRISTS RESTING ON AN ERGONOMIC PAD. Many people use wrist pads to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome, but used incorrectly, these pads may cause it. "If you have a tendency to relax your hands this way when typing, it can compress soft tissues, such as tendons, nerves and blood vessels, in your forearms, reducing blood flow to your wrists and fingers," says Peter W. Johnson, Ph.D., assistant professor of environmental health at the University of Washington in Seattle. "This can increase the pressure in the carpal tunnel located inside your wrists and ultimately lead to nerve damage," he adds. A padded rest should only be used to keep your wrists straight (not bent back or forward) to minimize muscle strain while typing. "Think of the pad as a guide for proper alignment, not as a pillow for your wrists," says Dr. Johnson. "It's designed to provide support only during breaks from keying." Even then, most experts recommend resting the palms of your hands, rather than your wrists, on the pad to reduce the risk of injury. WEARING ONLY FLAT SHOES. Don't completely ditch your heels for a closet full of flats. Your feet will feel more comfortable if you vary your heel height, says Carole Frey, M.D., assistant clinical professor of orthopedic surgery at UCLA. "Most flat shoes actually have some kind of heel, up to an inch high," says Dr. Frey. "Any change within that one-inch range will shift the pressure to the ball of the foot." Another reason you might want to choose a shoe with a slight heel over ballerina flats: A little lift can help reduce the stress on your Achilles' tendon. FILLING UP ON FRUIT. Many people think they can eat unlimited amounts of their favorite fruits because there's no fat, but these foods can be very high in calories. "Fruit is naturally full of sugar, so you really shouldn't eat more than two to three servings a day, especially if you're on a diet," says Bauer. "Fruit has such a high concentration of calories that it's easier to gain weight munching on apples, strawberries, mangoes and pears than it is on vegetables such as broccoli or spinach." According to Bauer, the average serving of fruit has about 60 calories, while the typical vegetable has only 25. Some fruits are almost as bad as candy when it comes to calories: Bananas, apricots, pineapples, figs and grapes can have as much as 110 calories a serving! For the same number of calories, you could eat a cup of steamed broccoli with a slice of melted fat-free cheese and feel a lot more satisfied. BRINGING YOUR OWN MANICURE KIT TO THE NAIL SALON TO AVOID INFECTION. "Serious infections are rare, but unless your nail-care tools are properly sterilized, they could still become contaminated with a virus or fungus," says Richard K. Scher, M.D., a nail specialist and professor of dermatology at Columbia University in New York City. "By far, though, the most common problem I see in women who use personal manicure kits is probably a bacterial infection like staph." To reduce your risk of contracting a nasty infection, sterilize your metal tools, such as clippers, files and scissors in boiling water for about five minutes before they go anywhere near your nails. Soaking dirty tools in hydrogen peroxide or wiping them off with rubbing alcohol isn't as effective. Once your manicure set has been disinfected, it is not advisable to share it with anyone else, not even your sister or your best friend. ADDING ALFALFA SPROUTS TO SALADS AND SANDWICHES. The next time you order a veggie wrap, you might want to hold the sprouts. Raw alfalfa, clover and other sprouts are often contaminated with potentially dangerous salmonella and E-coli bacteria. "It doesn't matter how fresh the sprouts are or how much you wash them, the seeds usually get contaminated before they begin to grow," says Bauer. "Unlike other produce, sprouts are grown in the kind of warm, moist conditions bacteria love." Children, the elderly and those with compromised immune systems are at greatest risk, but healthy adults also may develop food poisoning from four to 48 hours after eating tainted sprouts. Although most infections clear up on their own, some cases may require antibiotics, so call your doctor if you suspect food poisoning. (Watch for telltale symptoms such as fever, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and severe abdominal cramping.) The only way to kill salmonella and E-coli is to cook bean sprouts thoroughly before eating. But if you're not a fan of cooked sprouts, boiling them in water for a few minutes will help retain a safe crispiness. EATING FROZEN YOGURT INSTEAD OF ICE CREAM. "Many people indulge in frozen yogurt; it doesn't make them feel nearly as guilty as eating ice cream," says Bauer. But fat-free frozen yogurt has the same amount of calories (about 150 in a half-cup) as fat-free ice cream. And that's just for vanilla. Some flavors, such as chocolate or peanut butter, deliver twice the calories and fat, especially if they have candy or nuts mixed in. Frozen yogurt also has none of the health benefits of regular yogurt. It's so heavily processed that it doesn't retain any active cultures (like acidophilus) that can aid digestion and promote a healthy gut. HABITUALLY USING LIP BALM TO PREVENT CHAPPED LIPS. "People who use a flavored lip balm often tend to lick their lips more, which makes them dry out faster," says Debra Jaliman, M.D., clinical instructor of dermatology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City. Lip balm won't make lips forget to produce moisture on their own--that's a myth. But if you can't resist the urge to lick your lips, you may want to avoid yummy- flavored balms and choose flavorless ones instead. """""""""""" When you have leftover meatloaf, chop it up, drop it into a pot of simmering pasta sauce and pour over spaghetti--it makes a great low-cost meal. 333333333333 Going Shopping By Lynn Hedl 521 Oxford Circle Birmingham, ,,al 35209 E-mail l.hedl@att.net On this trip to the store, let us explore some new twists to some old familiar products. I think you'll be as surprised as I was. Can this be yogurt? Light and frothy, or smooth and creamy, you can now have your yogurt at lunch in a variety of textures, or you can drink it like a healthy shake. Nouriche by Yoplait, a nonfat yogurt smoothie, is a great but expensive take-along breakfast. Flavors include tropical, peach, raspberry and strawberry. An 11-oz container is $1.99. I also found a four- pack of smaller containers for $3.19. Similar fruity flavors are available in a whipped yogurt mousse by Dannon. The 79-cent container was so light you will wonder what is really in it. After you eat it, you'll be wondering the same thing. It's almost like eating air, and if you take it for lunch, better include something else. Dannon is also marketing a cr‚me yogurt for $1.99 for four 2.6-oz containers. This was a little better because it had a little more substance. Breyers weighs in with a smooth and creamy variety which is a little less extreme. For a quick low-fat dessert that will impress your church gathering, mix two containers of the key lime and an 8-oz container of cool whip and spoon this into a Graham cracker crust. Refrigerate to chill before serving. Do squeeze the peanut butter! I found Skippy peanut butter in a squeezable tube for $1.99. This would be easy to pack in a suitcase you're packing to go to the summer conventions. Tuna in a pouch? While you're packing that bag, throw in a couple of tuna pouches. Starkist has a 3-oz pouch for around $1.19 and a 7-oz pouch for $1.99. They do not have to be refrigerated before opening. There is a notch near the top where it can be slit with a knife or scissors. These pouches are not resealable. If that's not enough, tuna now comes in sweet and spicy or hickory smoked. I also found pink salmon in pouches, and used the larger size to make a couple of delicious salmon patties. I emptied the contents of the pouch into a small bowl, mixed in an egg, a little onion, and some cracker crumbs. I fried these, but you could just as easily have baked them in the oven for 15 minutes. These pouches are my pick for best new convenience product. I first encountered these when I bought a jar of Kraft mayonnaise and a 3-oz tuna pouch was included as a free trial. Twisted Snacks. There seems to be a concerted effort to make snack foods less boring. Today I found chili cheese corn chips, and honey barbecue Frito spirals. These look like rotini pasta, and they are actually quite tasty. A 10-oz bag is around $2.29. More than just a Newton! They're not just plain old fig Newtons any longer. Strawberry and apple Newtons have been around for a while, but if you haven't tried the new cherry cheesecake Newtons, you've missed a treat. Yes, they go in the suitcase too, but at $3.79 a package, I'm not sharing them with just anybody! Whether you're packing your lunch, or your bags for a trip, or just looking for a quick pick-me-up, I hope these products have given you some new and creative ideas. Have you found any innovative new products lately? If so, share them with us! Send me information on them and I will include them, as well as your name, in these articles. I am always delighted to hear from you. Happy shopping! """""""""""" An area rug in front of the sink will save you more floor cleanup time than you could ever imagine. And if you pick a synthetic rug with a varied pattern, dirt, drops and drips won't show up quite as well. 333333333333 HAPPY-MARRIAGE SECRETS By Alison Bell _Woman's _World March 25, 2003 Surprising new studies show that having a happy marriage can be as easy and fun as listening to music together or reading the comics! Here's what the experts have found out ... Think you need self-help books, seminars, soul-searching or all three to have a better marriage? Not! Psychologists and other experts have been busy studying what makes couples happy. What they've found is simple, easy--even fun. Here's what relationship experts have discovered, and how you can use their findings to have a more fulfilling marriage: __Put on a favorite CD or _tape. A recent study showed that when couples listened to music they both liked, they felt more cooperative and caring toward their spouse. Why? "Music dissipates tension and puts both of you in a good mood," says psychologist David Niven, Ph.D., author of __The 100 Simple Secrets of Great _Relationships. __Call a friend for _lunch. Couples who maintain individual long-term friendships are 32% more satisfied with their relationships than those who don't, according to Niven. "Having people outside the marriage who support you and care for you makes you feel better about yourself and you bring those good feelings back into your marriage," he explains. __Take up bowling or join a book _club. Happy couples are 64% more likely to have shared interests, according to a study published in Contemporary Family Therapy. "Sharing a hobby ensures that you set aside some time to have fun together, which is crucial for a relationship," says Denver psychologist Thomas Olkowski, Ph.D., "Plus, new interests also keep life-- and your marriage--interesting and alive." __Hit the sack an hour _earlier. A study published in the __Journal of Marriage and the _Family showed that well-rested couples were less likely to fight with each other. But if a conflict does arise ... __Feel free to _argue. One study showed that married couples who never argue with each other are 35% more likely to divorce than couples who report regularly disagreeing. Taking out tensions is a key to a great marriage because otherwise, "you'll bottle them up and ultimately, they'll explode and dominate the relationship," says Niven. "But if you vent grievances while they're still small, your marriage will benefit." __Let your husband help with the _dishes. Couples who share housework duties report they are 19% more satisfied in their relationship than couples where one partner does the vast majority of the work. One way to motivate your husband to do more around the house: "Compliment him on how well he does the dishes and other chores and give him a hug for doing them," recommends Olkowski. "This will make the tasks more enjoyable for him, so he'll want to do them." __Skip a half-hour of _TV. People who watch a lot of TV are 26% less likely to be satisfied with their relationships, a study shows. "TV is very isolating since we tend not to connect with our spouse when watching it," explains Niven. __Read the comics and tell _jokes. When couples thought their spouse had a good sense of humor, there was 67% less conflict in the relationship, according to a recent study. That's because couples with a sense of humor are able to diffuse tension and therefore, short-circuit fights when conversations get heated. And even if you're not a natural cutup, you can learn to gain a more humorous perspective on life by doing things such as reading the comics, and trying to share one funny thing that happened to you each day, says Niven. __Get there on _time. The happiest couples are those who can depend on each other to do what they say--like meeting them at the restaurant at 7 p.m.-- because they know they can rely on each other. In fact, one study found that people who considered their mate conscientious were 26% more likely to rate their relationship as healthy and reported 41% less conflict in their marriage. __Tell your husband about your dream of buying a home in the _country. Or starting your own business. Or taking a trip to Europe. In a University of Arkansas study, couples who shared their innermost thoughts and hopes were 62% more likely to describe their marriage as happy. Why? "Discussing your secret dreams helps you feel close to each other as well as focus you on building a future together," says Olkowsi. __The secret that takes the stress out of _marriage. What is it? Telling your husband about the things that make you happy in your relationship, like having coffee together in the morning, recommends Niven. One study showed that couples who did this reduced their stress level by 15%. Couples who talked about the things they _didn't like about their relationships, however, saw their stress level rise 48%! """""""""""" Untangle a snarled jewelry chain by sprinkling a little talcum powder on the knot. Slowly pull the knot apart. 333333333333 Helen's Kitchen Corner By Mrs. Helen Mueller 1553 Norfolk Avenue Westchester, IL 60154 email osquill@attbi.com SUMMER BRUNCH MENU Mock Champagne Toasted Chili Pecans Crab puffs Herbed Cherry Tomatoes Fruit Salad with Poppy Seed Dressing Minty Ice Tea Cannoli Pie I like to start every brunch with a glass of champagne or a raspberry- champagne float, but because, in the intense heat of summer, doctors advise people not to drink alcohol, I offer this mock champagne: 1 qt. apple cider, chilled 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 1 bottle (1 pt. 12 oz.) club soda, chilled 8 strips of lemon peel Combine cider and lemon juice in a medium bowl. Half fill eight champagne glasses. Then add club soda to each glass. Add a strip of lemon peel to each glass. Makes about 16 servings. TOASTED CHILI PECANS 4 cups pecan halves (1 lb.) 1 tbsp. Kahlua 1 tbsp. oil 3 tbsps. sugar 1/4 cup chili powder 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. red pepper Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Combine nuts, oil and liqueur; toss well. Combine seasonings and toss well with nuts mixture. Spread on cookie sheet. Bake 25 minutes, stirring often. Allow to cool before removing to a storage container. CRAB PUFFS 4 English muffins, split 2 cans (6 oz. each) crab meat, drained and flaked 1 package (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened 1/4 cup mayonnaise 1 tsp. spicy brown mustard 4 scallions (green onions) thinly sliced 1/8 tsp. pepper Preheat broiler. Place muffin halves on a cookie sheet and lightly toast under the broiler. In a medium bowl, combine remaining ingredients; mix well. Spread on muffin halves. Broil four to five minutes, or until lightly puffed and golden brown. Serve immediately. If you touch the sandwich lightly with your index finger, you should be able to get a sense of doneness. If you wish, you can spread this mixture on crackers and bake at 350 degrees for a few minutes. If you don't care for seafood or have an allergy to it, use chicken salad. HERBED CHERRY TOMATOES 1 pt. cherry tomatoes, halved 1/4 cup vegetable oil 3 tbsps. vinegar 1/4 cup minced fresh parsley 1-1/2 tsps. minced fresh basil (1/2 tsp. dried) 1-1/2 tsps. minced fresh oregano (1/2 tsp. dried) 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp. sugar Leaf lettuce (optional) Place tomato halves in a bowl; set aside. In a small bowl, combine oil and vinegar. Add herbs, salt and sugar. Mix well. Pour over the tomatoes. Cover and refrigerate at least three hours. Drain; serve on lettuce leaves, if desired. Serves four to six. FRUIT SALAD WITH POPPY SEED DRESSING 2 cups torn leaf lettuce 1 can (8 oz.) pineapple slices 1 cup strawberries 1 cup cubed honeydew melon 1 orange, peeled and sectioned 1 kiwi fruit, peeled and sliced Lemon juice (optional) Divide the lettuce among four salad plates. Cut pineapple slices in half. (I would cut them into smaller pieces yet. In fact, I would use pineapple chunks.) Arrange fruit atop lettuce. If desired, brush the kiwi slices with a little lemon juice to keep them from turning brown. Cover and chill salads for up to one hour. To serve, drizzle with dressing. POPPY SEED DRESSING In a screw-top jar, combine 3 tbsps. honey, 1/2 tsp. finely shredded lime or lemon peel, 2 tsps. lemon or lime juice, 3/4 tsp. poppy seed and a dash of ground mace. Cover and shake well. Chill until serving time. Shake well before using. Makes about 1/3 cup. MINTY ICE TEA For best results, always bring fresh cold water to a rolling boil. 8 cups boiling water 8 mint-herbal tea bags 8 cups ice cubes Sugar to taste Fresh mint sprigs In a large glass container, pour water over tea bags and allow to steep for 30 minutes. Remove tea bags (this can be done with tongs) and stir in sugar to taste and half the ice cubes. Pour into glasses filled with ice. Top each glass with a sprig of fresh mint. Serves 12. CANNOLI PIE 1 container (15 oz.) ricotta cheese 1 cup powdered sugar 1/4 cup chopped Maraschino cherries 1/3 cup chopped, blanched almonds 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips 1 9-inch chocolate graham cracker crust (ready made) In a large bowl, combine cheese and powdered sugar. Mix until smooth and well combined. Stir in cherries, almonds and chips. Spoon into graham cracker crust. Cover and freeze at least three hours. Remove from freezer and allow to stand 10-15 minutes before cutting. Cover and freeze any leftovers. Serves eight to ten. """""""""""" Want to keep your blueberries fresh for up to four days longer? Store them unwashed in their original container in the refrigerator and they won't get mushy. 333333333333 Janice's Hobby Closet By Janice Ware 11400 239th Place SW Woodway, WA 98020 Email: jvware121@attbi.com MUSICAL MIRACLES: MUSIC BOXES Let's open the closet to the "pleasure for the ears" shelf and look at ... musical miracles: music boxes. The three items I have pulled out include a spin-around carousel with changeable plastic disks that play and spin with a turn of the crank and fill the air with tunes like _Edelweiss, __Go Round and Round the _Village, and the _Carousel _Waltz. Next I find an antique round glass powder puff holder with a ring crank to wind up to make it play an old Hawaiian tune called _Sweet _Lelani. Finally, there's a tiny square box called a hurdy-gurdy. When its crank handle is turned it plays _Aloha _Oe. Some of you may have experienced in your childhood or later the wonderful added resonance from putting the hurdy-gurdy box on a glass window, wood cabinet, metal table, or even the refrigerator door while turning the crank and activating the melodic tune trapped inside. How did these delights ever get started? The origin of the music box traces back to Switzerland when, in 1796, a French watchmaker, Antoine Favre, who lived in Geneva near the Swiss-French border, invented what would become over 2 centuries of mechanical musical delights. He first started putting musical gadgets in watches, pendants, and perfume bottles. From there, the industry took off and became so popular in the latter half of the nineteenth century, they comprised 10 percent of Switzerland's exports. These first music boxes were a source of delight and listening-pleasure to the powerful and wealthy classes in the world, from Europe to China. Moving figures, decorations, gaily painted boxes, and other delightful visual attractions were part of the appeal. So was hearing music, from popular opera arias to folk and era hit tunes, at the turn of a key, the lift of a lid, or the push of a switch to activate the music mechanism. Unfortunately, with the arrival of Thomas Edison's phonograph early in the twentieth century, and the end of World War I and the financial Depression of 1929, the music-box industry was hit very badly. The public started buying records, radios, and going to "picture palaces" in the 1920's. The decline was so great that the making of music boxes nearly vanished. However, in the years following World War II, thanks to the American soldiers stationed in Europe, the Swiss music boxes were given a new lease on life and were sent back home to families and friends in the United States. The earliest music boxes were the cylinder kind, like the majority today. The music is played by a cylinder rotating with raised bumps which pluck strings when the box is either hand-cranked or wound up to rotate the cylinder. The cylinder's raised bumps are positioned according to the selected tune's pitch and rhythm requirements. Around 1890, the first disk music box appeared. These boxes feature a large library of disks which are easily changed to play different tunes in the same disk music box. A visit to music box shops in large shopping malls, or specialty music box shops in towns and large cities soon exposes one to the unbelievable creativity of connecting musical tunes to items to represent them. For example, a porcelain woman in cap and gown holding a diploma plays _Memory when the ring is wound up on the bottom of her stand. A gorgeous soft baby pillow plays Brahms' _Lullaby with the click of a switch. Even sculptures can be music boxes. A few frolicking dolphins spin at play when the switch activates John Denver's tune _Calypso. A copper globe with raised continents turns slowly on its axis when Roger Miller's tune __King of the _Road plays with a turn of the key. Not surprising, a jet plane jewelry box when opening its wings, cockpit, and passenger cabin plays __Leaving On A Jet _Plane. The stuffed, cuddly animal music boxes are plentiful. It's not hard to imagine soft wooly lambs playing __Mary Had A Little _Lamb, bears playing _Teddy _Bears' _Picnic and a dragon presiding over the whole scene while playing __Puff The Magic _Dragon. Then there are clock music boxes made like Bavarian clocks. Some are the routine Cuckoo clocks with birds popping heads out of a door or window on the clock and saying cuckoo on the hour. More elaborate ones have carved scenes of people, animals, and paddle wheels moving with all kinds of musical tunes on the hour or every half hour. Some Swiss chalets are made into jewelry boxes and clock jewelry boxes which play tunes when you lift the lid. I imagine some of you may have truly out-of-the-ordinary music box experiences which you might like to share. I would enjoy hearing from you. By the time you read this, summer will be at its peak. I wish all of you a happy summer season with healthy, safe vacation plans and time to enjoy friends. In the meantime, stay healthy, take care of yourselves, and enjoy the warmer weather until next issue. """""""""""" Cool, then freeze extra cooked bacon in a freezer container. Remove what you need; microwave just to heat before serving. 333333333333 A SEEMINGLY STUPID DECISION--A SO SMART MOVE Excerpted from "My big mistake that turned out great" As Told to Lori Gottlieb _Redbook December 2002 "I sank my life savings into self-publishing my novel."--Karen E. Quinones Miller, Philadelphia. One night my 11-year-old daughter, Camille, suggested I write a book that could be made into a movie starring her favorite actress, Jada Pinkett Smith. So on a lark I sat down to write this (my first) book--and to my amazement, I finished it in two months. Camille was ecstatic, and when I read what I'd written, I was shocked that it had turned out so well. We tried to get _Satin _Doll published, but I must have sent out 35 letters and all I got back was rejections. Still, Camille and I believed in the book, so I decided to publish it myself. I ordered 3,000 copies, spending my savings, money from my pension plan, money borrowed from my daughter's college fund, and a lot of money borrowed from my brother. I'm a single mother supporting my daughter alone, so my friends were appalled. When I discovered that most self-published authors don't sell 3,000 books in a year, I panicked. I was living paycheck to paycheck, and because of the money I'd sunk into the book, I had my electricity turned off twice and my gas turned off once, and I was moving my car from block to block to dodge the repo man. Desperate to make my money back, I decided to take an unpaid leave from my job as a newspaper reporter so I could bust my butt trying to sell those books. People thought I had lost my mind! One friend told me I was being irresponsible and that he was setting up a sofa bed for us when we got evicted. My mentor at work begged me to reconsider. Everyone except Camille thought I was nuts. Maybe I was, but I believed that _Satin _Doll was a great book and that it would sell if given the chance. My risk taking paid off. I built a website and stood outside subway stations during rush hour, giving out fliers. I wound up selling all 3,000 copies in six weeks, and when I had sold 24,000 copies, Simon & Shuster bought the rights. They just published my second novel, _I'm _Telling, and _Satin _Doll went on to become a bestseller. Not bad for a novel that no one thought would make it! I just signed a six-figure contract for a third novel, and I now write books full-time. Maybe my decision to sink everything I had into a novel I wrote on a whim was foolhardy, but thank goodness I followed my heart. "I told my boss I'm manic-depressive."--Diana Grippo, Menlo Park, California. In all the years I worked as a marketing executive, I never let anyone know that I'd been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had my life completely under control with medication, but I figured if anyone found out I had a mental illness, it would destroy my career. So when I switched jobs and went into teaching in high schools for "at-risk" kids, I planned to keep my secret just as well-hidden in my new job as it had been at my old one. Then, during my very first week teaching, I had to work from dawn until late at night organizing an outreach program, so I didn't sleep for several days straight. When you're bipolar, lack of sleep can lead to mania--a state of uncontrollable over-activity. That's what happened to me. At one point I wrote a raging e-mail to the principal about the fact that I wasn't getting paid until the very end of September. By the time the principal called me in, I'd gotten some sleep and was back to normal. But he was holding a printout of the e-mail, and he looked upset. I was so ashamed. There was no way I could explain away that e-mail. So I swallowed hard and admitted the truth: I told the principal that I was bipolar and that I'd had an "episode" for the first time since being diagnosed more than a decade before. He asked if I was on medication and I said yes, explaining what had happened with the sleep deprivation. I was about to leave, figuring I'd blown everything, but then he pulled out his checkbook and offered to lend me money until I got my first paycheck! I'll never forget his kindness. I still don't broadcast my "secret," but I'm also no longer embarrassed about it. Now some of my colleagues and students know, and they all treat me with respect. It's such a relief; I feel like I can finally be myself at work. Coming clean was definitely the best "bad" decision I ever made. _Dealing _with _doubters. Just because you know you've made the right choice doesn't mean everyone around you will be quick to see the light. Here's how to deal with loved ones who question your decisions, says Laura Berman Fortgang, author of __Living Your Best _Life. Those closest to you, like your husband and best friend, may be worried about how this change will affect their lives. Reassure them that they are as important to you as ever. Pals who can't stop talking about your choice and its potentially disastrous consequences may be projecting their own fears onto you. Simply be direct: "I understand your concerns, but I'm really committed to this. I hope you can respect that." Finally, some people may simply feel threatened by your going after your goals when they haven't gone after theirs. Rather than confront these people about their envy (which will just make them defensive), encourage them to take action on something they've been aspiring to do. """""""""""" Bread chops or chicken breasts ahead, place on a wax paper-lined baking sheet and freeze uncovered until hard, about two hours. Pack in freezer bags and freeze up to two months. Thaw in refrigerator before cooking. 333333333333 Poetry By Mrs. Helen Mueller 1553 Norfolk Westchester, IL 60154 email: osquill@attbi.com ALONG CAME RUTH By Ford Frick 1894-1978 You step up to the plate ar And you gaze with flashing hate ar At the poor benighted pitcher ar As you dig in at the plate. ar You watch him cut his fast ball loose ar Then swing your trusty bat ar As you park one in the bleachers-- ar Nothing's simpler than that! IF YOU LOVED ME By Oscar Hammerstein, II 1895-1960 If I loved you, words wouldn't come in an easy way ar Round in circles I'd go. ar If I loved you, time and again I would try to say ar All I want you to know. Longing to tell you but afraid and shy ar I'll let my golden chances--pass me by. ar Soon you'll leave me ar Off you will go into the midst of day ar Never, never to know. ar If I loved you--if I loved you. THE GIFT OUTRIGHT By Robert Frost 1874-1963 This poem was read by Frost at the 1961 inauguration of President John F. Kennedy. The land was ours before we were the land's. ar She was our land more than a hundred years ar Before we were a people. She was ours ar In Massachusetts, in Virginia, ar But we were England's, still colonials, ar Possessing what we still were unpossessed by, ar Possessed by what we now no more possessed. ar Something we were withholding made us weak ar Until we found out that it was ourselves ar We were withholding from our land and living, ar And forthwith found salvation in surrender. ar Such as we were we gave ourselves outright ar (The deed of gift was many deeds of war) ar To the land vaguely realizing westward, ar but still unstoried, artless, unenhanced, ar Such as she was, such as she would become. ABRAHAM LINCOLN WALKS AT MIDNIGHT By Vachel Lindsay 1879-1931 It is portentous and a thing of state ar That here at midnight, in our little town ar A mourning figure walks, and will not rest, ar Near the old court-house pacing up and down Or by his homestead, or in shadowed yards ar He lingers where children used to play, ar Or through the market, on the well-worn stones ar He stalks until the dawn-stars burn away. A bronzed, lank man! His suit of ancient black ar A famous high top-hat and plain worn shawl ar Make him the quaint great figure that men love, ar The prairie-lawyer, master of us all. He cannot sleep upon his hillside now. ar He is among us--As in times before! ar And we who toss and lie awake for long ar Breathe deep, and start, to see him pass the door. His head is bowed. He thinks on men and kings. ar Yea, when the sick world cries, how can he sleep? ar Too many peasants fight, they know not why, ar Too many homesteads in black terror weep. The sins of all the war-lords burn his heart. ar He sees the dreadnaughts scouring every main. ar He carries on his shawl-wrapped shoulders now ar The bitterness, the folly and the pain. He cannot rest until a spirit-dawn ar Shall come--the shining hope of Europe free: ar The league of sober folk, the Workers Earth, ar Bringing long peace to Cornland, Alp and Sea. It breaks the heart that kings must murder still, ar That all his hours of travail here for men. ar Seem yet in vain. And who will bring white peace ar That he may sleep upon his hill again? THE FLOWERS By Robert Louis Stevenson 1850-1894 All the names I know from nurse: ar Gardener's Garters, Shepherd's Purse, ar Bachelor's Buttons, Lady's Smock, ar And the Lady Hollyhock. Fairy places, fairy things, ar Fair woods where the wild bee wings, ar Tiny trees for tiny dames-- ar These must all be fairy names! Tiny woods below whose boughs ar Shady fairies weave a house; ar tiny tree- tops, rose or thyme, ar Where the braver fairies climb! Fair are grown-up people's trees, ar But the fairest woods are these; ar Where, if I were not so tall, ar I should live for good and all. """""""""""" Use a dinner fork to scrape the batter off both sides of mixer blades at once. 333333333333 HOW TO TALK SO KIDS REALLY LISTEN By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. _Family _Circle March 12, 2002 "How do I get my child to listen?" is a question I hear often from parents. It's easier or harder, depending on the child's age and stage of development, but it also depends on the way you talk to her. You may be teaching, correcting, advising, helping or criticizing too often or too insistently. Since autonomy is a child's major goal, her resistance to "being told" is normal and understandable. Yet one of the most difficult things for a caring parent to do is simply remain silent, as I've observed with my daughter and her two children--a boy, 8, and a girl, 5--who live with us. The kids are great, and my daughter has done a wonderful job with them. But she's after them too much. She comments on nearly everything they do. Probably, she's trying to keep them from bothering us, the grandparents, but by the time she has issued the third order, their eyelids go down, their bodies stiffen and their heads turn away. They either insulate themselves from her directives or do something entirely antagonistic. "Watch out," she'll say, "or you'll knock your glass off the table," Then Crash! it's on the floor. Although it's easy to criticize, in this instance I'm sure that less frequent commands--with plenty of airspace between them--are much more effective than a barrage. _Speaking _in "_Motherese". Children aren't continually opposed to listening. In fact, a newborn already has a preferred range of voice pitch to which she will respond. If I speak to her in my lower male range, she may pay attention--or she may not. But if her mother speaks to her, any infant will turn toward her. This may be because she's conditioned to her mother's voice in the uterus, but we also know that the human infant is born with a preference for the female voice. This high-pitched "motherese" voice is the kind we all use when speaking to babies and small children. What this "special voice" says to a child is: "Now, I'm talking only to you." When we do this, we increase our chances of being listened to because the small child knows that it's "her" voice. The human voice, when pitched appropriately, is a powerful instrument for communicating with our offspring. We need to know how to use it--and when not to. Many parents use commands to stay in touch with their child. The problem is that when it's really important that he respond--"Get out of the street!"-- the dilution effect of all the other commands makes it less likely that he will listen. __Getting Them to "Tune _In". A child's states of attention are rhythmic. The lows (when he is drawn inward) balance the highs (when he can be attentive and reachable). Researchers using electroen//cephalography have demonstrated that children's brains are cycling all day long--up, then down to recover. That's one reason why they need to tune out too-frequent parental suggestions. So if you want your child to pay attention, remember this: One command is much more powerful when it's surrounded by shared silences. In other words, don't keep at a child. Another thing I've found in my research is that a child learns more from the frustration of making mistakes and trying out different solutions than he'll ever learn from being hovered over or directed by an adult. When he has to struggle, fail and push himself to keep on toward his goal, his ultimate success belongs to him. "I did it! I did it myself!" __The "Hard of Hearing" _Ages. There are periods in a child's development when she can't hear a parent, no matter how well she speaks to her. Those are the times when the child's competing drives are more powerful than our parental ones. I call them "touchpoints," and I have written about them extensively. _Toddlers: A one-year-old who's learning to stand, to walk, to dare to explore, will find it impossible to hear your warning. "Watch out! Don't go near the stairs!" Only gates at each end of the stairs will halt her powerful drive to conquer her world. At age two the inner turmoil of "Will I or won't I?" "Do I or don't I?" makes a temper tantrum the child's only workable solution. Although you'd love to cut those tantrums short, you can't. The child's inner struggle outweighs any appeal from the outside. Your only viable tactic is to reduce the audience value of the tantrum by walking away. Then, when it's over, you can pick her up and say, "It's so difficult to be two and unable to decide what you really want." _Preschoolers: When a child is four or five, a common complaint from mothers is: "She just won't listen to me. It's as if I'm not even there. But when her dad walks in, she acts as if everything he says or does is coming from a king." Freud called this Oedipal struggle; I call it economy. The child is learning all she can about her father and how to woo him. Next month she'll turn to her mother and start learning everything she can about her. Once again, the child's developmental processes are more powerful in directing her behavior than anything coming to her from a parent. Try to be patient; she'll soon be turning back to you. _Preteens: Other inner struggles interfere with a 9- or 10-year-old's listening skills. Headaches, stomachaches, fear of going to school are often the surface symptoms. When a distressed child confides in me, this is what I hear: "I know I'm going to have to face sex, violence and drugs, and I don't even know what they are!" Be ready to listen to your child talk about his fears, which he probably will, at the right time and in the right setting. Establish a weekly date with him when the two of you share interesting experiences. As you get close to each other, he'll share his confidences and anxieties. We all want to "fix it" for our children, and to relieve them of stress and worry, but these things aren't necessarily fixable. The best thing you can do--and the hardest--is to listen. _Teenagers: In any argument over, say, curfew, the kind that is expectable in the life of an adolescent, not much listening is going on. A teenager's struggle for independence is far too overpowering for him to be able to hear you. Instead of responding in kind, talk to him in a quiet voice: "I'm afraid, dear, that's the way it is in our house. Your friends may have midnight as a curfew. Here, it's 11 P.M. If you can't abide by it, we may have to institute a trade. You won't get the privileges we've given you at other times." Your quiet voice is infinitely more likely to break through the highly charged moment, and your self-assurance is not lost on him. A quiet voice is always more powerful than a loud one. _Sweetening _the _Message. I've found another approach that works well with teenagers--in fact, it works with children of any age. It's to start with a complimentary message rather than with a critical one. For example, you might say: "I'm so proud of you. Even though you drove my car without my permission, you are honest and open enough to come discuss it with me. Now I can hear your side of the story, and you can hear mine. I still must discipline you for taking the car, but at least we've had the chance to hear each other's point of view. Good for you!" So whenever you want your child to really hear you, try to set the stage with a positive approach. It's not easy, but it will be rewarding--for both of you! """""""""""" Avoid wearing rubber gloves when cleaning silver--the rubber can darken the silver. 333333333333 CAN LIFTING WEIGHTS HELP PREVENT OSTEOPOROSIS? By Kenneth H. Cooper, M.D., M.P.H. _Woman's _Day January 2, 2001 Recent studies show that lifting weight in combination with adequate calcium intake can prevent and actually reverse osteoporosis by improving bone density and building new bone. First, get at least 1,200 mg of calcium daily through foods such as low-fat dairy products and calcium-fortified orange juice. Since most women consume less than half of what they need from food sources, it's also a good idea to add a calcium supplement. Before starting a weight-training regimen, consult your doctor (who may offer helpful exercises). Use 3- to 5-pound dumbbells and try exercises such as overhead lifts, which help maintain bone density in your back. Do 12 to 15 repetitions of each exercise, rest, then repeat. Aim for at least 30 minutes of weight training twice a week. To maintain bone density in your hips, add 30 minutes of brisk walking to your schedule three times a week. """""""""""" For non-sticky pasta, place a large serving bowl (not delicate glass or china) in your kitchen sink and set a colander into the bowl. Pour cooked pasta into the colander to drain. Remove the colander, shake it a few times and set it next to the sink. Tip the water from the bowl into the sink and dry the bowl. Or, a few minutes before the pasta is done, pour hot water into the serving bowl. Just before draining the pasta, pour out the water and wipe the bowl dry. 333333333333 Handicrafts By Mrs. Janice O'Hara 90 Midland Ave., No.32 Kearny, NJ 07032 (201) 997-3760 CONTENTS Stars and Stripes Knitted Pot//holder """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 49 Crocheted Pot//holder """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 50 Knitted Tissue Holder """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 51 Crocheted Tissue Holder """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 51 Fancy Crocheted Afghan Stitches """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 52 Half-Moon Shaped Shawl """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 53 Hexagon Pot//holder """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 54 """""""""""" STARS AND STRIPES KNITTED POT//HOLDER Materials: 25 yards each of red, white and blue rug yarn, one 9-inch square of red terrycloth (optional), size 7 standard knitting needles. Gauge: 4 sts equal 1 inch, 6 rows equal 1 inch. With red, cast on 28 sts, work in stockinette (k1 row, p1 row) for: (3 rows red, 3 rows white) twice. Join blue, and work 12 rows. Then work (3 rows red, 3 rows white) twice. Bind off. Work one row of sc around outside edge. _Options: Pin terrycloth to back of pot//holder, turn raw edges in, and sew to pot//holder, or make another knitted pot//holder the same, and crochet together. You can also make two knitted pot//holders, and put the terrycloth in between them. In this pattern, there is a star motif: With thread, you can outline 3 1-1/2-inch squares evenly spaced on blue area. With white yarn, work 8 straight sts within each square, equally spaced from outline to center of square. CROCHETED POT//HOLDER Materials: Aunt Lydia's heavy rug yarn, any 3 colors (&+A, B and C), aluminum crochet hook size &+H. With &+A, ch16. Sc in 2nd ch from hook, and in each st across--15 sc. Ch1, turn. Row 2: Sc in each sc, ch1, turn. Rep last row 13 times. Do not turn at end of last row. Border: Working along side, 3 sc in corner st, sc in each end of next 13 rows, 3 sc in corner, 13 sc along bottom, 3 sc in next corner, work up other side, omitting 3 sc in last corner; instead join in first sc. Cut yarn. Attach Color C in any corner, 3 sc in same st, * sc in each st to next corner, 3 sc in corner; rep from * around, joining in first sc. Cut yarn. Row 3: Attach Color B in any corner sc, 2 sc in same sc, ch7, sl st in last sc worked for loop, sc in same corner sc. Complete same as row 2. Finish off. _Option: You can also use a solid color, with contrast for edge, or 3 colors as you wish. KNITTED TISSUE HOLDER Materials: Takes small amounts of sport yarn in 2 colors, or solid color if you prefer. Knitting needles size 1, Crochet hook size 1. With Color &+A, cast on 30 sts. Drop &+A. Attach Color B and work as follows: Row 1: With B, * sl1 as if to purl, k2; Rep from * across. Row 2: With B, k each st. Row 3: With &+A, * k2, sl1 as if to purl, rep from * across. Row 4: With &+A, k each st. Rep these 4 rows until piece measures 6-1/2 inches, ending with &+A. Bind off. Finishing: With &+A, work 2 rows sc (ease in slightly) across each end of piece, fasten off. Fold over each end to meet in center and sew side seams together on inside. Turn to right side. Steam press if desired. CROCHETED TISSUE HOLDER Materials: Holder requires about one ball heavy mercerized crochet cotton and steel crochet hook size 0. Holder: Ch28, sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each chain across--27 sc. * Ch1, turn, sc in each sc across, rep from * until piece measures 6-1/2 inches, ch3, turn. Edge: Sl st in second st from hook, * ch3, sk1 st, sl st in next st, rep from * across, fasten off. At other end, work sc in each st--27 st, then work "Edge" the same as on the other end. Finish off. Fold over each end to meet in center, and sew side seams together on inside, turn right side, steam press if desired. FANCY AFGHAN STITCHES Popcorn Stitch Sometimes called Bean Stitch. In the stitch you wish to do "Popcorn", make 5, or any number desired, dc's in same st, remove hook, insert hook in first stitch of dc-group, pick up loop in last stitch of this group and pull it through first stitch of dc- group, ch1 to tighten. Open Shell Make a chain and 3 extra sts to turn, dc in 4th ch from hook, (ch2, and 2 dc) in same st, * sk3 sts, shell of (2 dc, ch2, 2 dc) in next st, rep from * across. Row 2: Ch3, turn * shell in ch2 sp of shell in previous row, rep from * across making a shell in each shell. Rep Row 2 for pattern. Slanting Stitch Chain for desired length. Work 2 dc in 4th ch from hook, sk3 sts, sl st in next st, * ch3, 2 dc in same st with sl st, sk3 sts, sl st in next st, rep from *. Row 2: Ch3, turn, 2 dc in sl st, sl st in ch3 lp of shell in previous row, * ch3, 2 dc in same sp, sl st in next shell, rep from *. Rep Row 2 for desired number of times. HALF-MOON SHAPED SHAWL Materials: 3 4-ounce skeins knitting worsted, one pair straight knitting needles, No. 13, Crochet Hook Size &+K. Gauge: 1 pattern equals 1 inch. Pattern Stitch: Row 1: K1, * k2 together, yo, rep from * across row, ending k1. Row 2: Knit. Row 3: K2, * yo, k2 together; rep from * across row. Row 4: K2 together, k to last 2 sts, k2 together. Repeat Rows 3 and 4 for Pattern Stitch. Cast on 160 sts, k2 rows. Working in Pattern st, dec 1 stitch each end of needle every other row until there are 80 sts on needle, ending with Row 3 of Pattern Stitch. Continuing to work in Pattern Stitch, bind off 4 sts at the beginning of every row until 40 sts remain. Bind off loosely. Finishing: Work 1 row sc around entire shawl, working 3 sc in corner sts. Fringe: Cut strands of yarn 12 inches long. Knot 4 strands in every stitch around edges of shawl. Trim ends. If desired, steam iron lightly. HEXAGON POT//HOLDER Materials: 3 oz. Knitting Worsted, Size G Crochet Hook. A few yards contrasting color. Make 2: Ch5, sl st to form ring. Ch3, 2 dc in ring. (Ch1, 3 dc in ring) 5 times, ch1, sl st in top of ch3 to join. Next round: Ch3, dc in each of next 2 dc, * dc, ch1, dc in next ch1, dc in each of next 3 dc. Rep from * around, ending dc, ch1, dc in last ch1, sl st in top of ch3 to join. Next 3 rounds: Ch3 (counts as 1 dc), * dc in each dc to next ch1; (dc, ch1, dc) in ch1. Rep from * around, ending dc in each dc to ch3 (making sure each section contains the same number of dc between ch1's). Sl st in top of ch3. When a total of 5 rounds from start have been completed, fasten off. Place pieces together with right sides out. With contrast yarn, work 1 row sc around edge, working 2 sc in each ch1, being sure to catch both edges. Loop: Sl st in first sc, ch8, sl st at base of ch. Fasten off. With dark yarn, tack holder together at center, sewing 3 overcast sts through each ch1 space, and through center hole. """""""""""" To apply marinades or BBQ sauces without using a brush, try a water bottle with a squeeze top. Just pour your sauce or marinade into the bottle and squirt it just where you want it and with less mess. 333333333333 WHAT MAKES YOUR CAT PURR By Susan McCullough _Family _Circle January 2, 2001 Her friends call her Punkabiddy, but a better name for the Maine coon cat might be Dances with Mirrors. "She stands up against something solid, preferably smooth-surfaced, like a mirror," explains Punkabiddy's owner, Lily Casura of Bellevue, Washington. "Then she runs in place with her front paws on the surface, almost trancelike. I have no idea why she does it." Cats' idiosyncrasies can be puzzling. "But not all cat behaviors defy explanation," says certified applied animal behaviorist John C. Wright, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia, and co-author of __Is Your Cat Crazy?: Solutions from the Casebook of a Cat _Therapist (Macmillan General Reference). Wright believes that by examining the context in which a cat's actions occur, an owner can decode much of her pet's behavior. _Sounding _Off. Some feline behaviors--especially vocalizations--are exactly what they seem to be. A growl means, "If you come toward me, I'll attack." That attack may take the form of a swat, a scratch or even a bite. Similarly, a cat may shriek in response to sudden discomfort, such as being squirted with water. If a cat chatters with its teeth, it's probably expressing frustration--for example, when it sees a squirrel or a bird that it can't reach. However, if your cat makes a soft &+r noise that ends in a trill, it's chirring at you. Mother cats use this sound to call their kittens, says Wright. So if your cat chirrs at you, it's probably asking for your company. _Getting _Physical. A cat that rubs its face or body against a person is showing that it's in a sociable mood, and that it may want to be petted. Some cats like rubbing themselves against objects rather than people; that too is a social gesture. "For some shy cats, rubbing against a person feels too intense." Wright explains. "So they rub against something that belongs to the person." If your cat likes to knead your arm, it's probably trying to recreate the warm, safe feeling it had while nursing during kittenhood (the movement stimulated the mother's milk flow). In fact, kneading may be what Punkabiddy is trying to do to the reflection in the mirror. "Cats will get into a number of very curious situations to help them recreate a pleasurable feeling," says Wright. _Multiple _Meanings. A purr can have more than one meaning. "A purr is often associated with good feelings," Wright says. "But it also can mean that the cat is becoming overly stimulated." If your cat purrs in response to your petting, watch its body language. Dilated pupils, whiskers moving forward, a swishing tail and/or flattened ears are the cat's way of saying it's had enough. Failure to heed those signals could result in a growl or the cat grabbing your arm with a paw. _Giving _Gifts. If yours is an outdoor cat, does it sometimes present you with dead mice or birds? The motive behind it may be the cat trying to assume adult responsibilities. "Cats that do this for their households are trying to fulfill a provider's role," Wright says. "Lots of times we don't appreciate their efforts, though!" __How to Talk to Your _Cat. When interacting with your cat, a soft voice and low stance can go a long way toward putting it at ease. Certified applied animal behaviorist John Wright, Ph.D., of Macon, Georgia, suggests coming down to the floor to talk to your cat. Next, extend your finger straight ahead, parallel to the ground, and let your cat come to you. Your finger approximates a cat's nose, and nose-to-nose sniffing is standard operating procedures when cats greet each other, Wright explains. Tone of voice is also very important when communicating with a cat, says Linda Goodloe, Ph.D., a certified applied animal behaviorist in New York City. Because loud voices can frighten a cat, it's a good idea to speak to your kitty in a normal tone of voice. Pairing your voice with petting can help the cat associate your sweet talk with pleasurable feelings. """""""""""" To keep frosting creamy and soft so it'll spread easier set the mixing bowl of frosting in a pan of hot water while you work. 333333333333 BE A GARDEN MAVERICK By Rob Proctor _Gardner March/April 2003 Most of us operate with a series of assumptions on which we base our actions. These range from such truths as "the sun rises in the east" (although I once read a survey that posed the question, "In your neighborhood, does the sun rise in the east?" An alarming number of people said "no.") to "on the one day of the week I can sleep in, my dog Dingo will still want to go out at 6 A.M." What we know--or think we know--influences everything we do. As gardeners we become part of an enormous collective consciousness. Knowledge passes from one gardener to another through books, magazines, lectures, television, and over the fence. Looking back at 10 years of passing on my planting experience in _Country _Living _Gardner, I wonder how I've contributed to the theories about gardening that we take for granted. I'd like to think that I've raised more questions than I've answered, or at least looked at what we know--or think we know--from a different perspective. There aren't very many absolutes in garden design, but I've contributed well over a half million words on the subject in the past decade. I doubt that many of these added substantially to our collective gardener's knowledge. That's just fine with me. The last thing we need is to add to the big, long list of rules. What happens is that if someone makes a proclamation about an aspect of gardening, it gets written into the rules and becomes part of the assumption on which we base how we grow plants. Trouble is, gardening is part art and part science (and an inexact science at that). Many myths are widely accepted as fact; I think it's time to debunk them. So, in honor of _Country _Living _Gardener's 10th anniversary, I've chosen my 10 favorite myths. __Myth 1: Always buy odd numbers of _plants. Most gardeners follow the design principle of using groups of 3, 5, 7 or 9. I have no idea why. When creating a tapestry planting, my favorite number is 10. That way I can have a main group of six, a smaller group of three, and one long straggler that looks like it's left the colony and started life on its own. __Myth 2: Schrubs should only be pruned after a _flowering. This makes sense, of course, because if you delay you will cut off next year's buds. In general, I don't go in for much pruning at all, but sometimes a little shaping is required. I think the best time for this is when the leaves are off, revealing the shape. This is usually in fall, winter, or early spring. Pruning at this time will sacrifice some flowers that year, but that's not a huge consideration (unless you've scheduled a family wedding to take place in the garden when the lilacs bloom). __Myth 3: All soils need _amending. We spend an inordinate amount of time modifying our property so that plants that don't want to grow there will grow for us. I know of some people who've spent most of their lives amending their soil without ever growing very many plants. Then they die. Wouldn't it be more rewarding to grow plants that evolved in whatever soil you perceive to be terrible? Most of the complaints I hear are about clay. It seems to occur in every city in America. I don't think we built our cities in pockets of clay, while the rest of the world is blessed with rich, black, organically rich soil. Seek out the plants, both native and from similar climatic regions, that are completely satisfied with your soil, whatever it is. __Myth 4: Invasive plants are _bad. What's invasive depends on where you live. And even when they are considered invasive in your region, some plants fit the bill for very difficult situations. My late friend Marilyn gardened in a shady urban garden and depended on plants such as bishop's weed (_aegopodium _podagraria) and lily-of-the-valley (_convallria _majalis), not only to cope with the dry shade but also to withstand her borzoi hound. She always claimed that "borzoi" was Russian for "backhoe." __Myth 5: Roots need to be "_scuffed." I've never noticed the slightest bit of difference after planting, whether the roots have been lightly teased or not. The idea is that breaking up the roots makes them more likely to take off vigorously. Since most roots are fibrous, I've observed that they start to grow where they make contact with the soil, scuffed or not. I make an exception for extremely potbound perennials and shrubs. __Myth 6: Gardens need _art. No, they don't. Gardens _are art. I have no objection to well-placed and beautifully designed statues and other objects, but I don't think anyone (like me) should feel guilty for not investing in a sculpture. __Myth 7: Deep planting prevents tulips from "_splitting." Bulbs have two methods of reproduction, seeding and splitting. Hybrid tulips have a complex genealogy; some of them are descended from species that split better than they seed. In my experience, how deep they're planted doesn't seem to determine whether they fracture into a clump of tiny bulbs that produce few flowers but a flurry of leaves. __Myth 8: Pots need to be scrubbed free of fertilizer _salts. Clay pots eventually end up with white residue on the surface. This is the result of dissolved salts leaching through the porous pot walls. They're not going to go back inside--somehow supposedly hurting roots--so the decision to scrub or not is largely an aesthetic one. I haven't scrubbed a pot for about eight years, if that makes any of you other lazy gardeners feel better. __Myth 9: Nitrogen from organic fertilizers is _better. Unlike wool or olive oil, for which there are degrees of fineness and purity (somehow based on virginity, which has always puzzled me), nitrogen is nitrogen. It is an element. While organic fertilizers may contain traces of other elements that may be beneficial, your plants can't actually distinguish between different "kinds" of nitrogen. __Myth 10: Bark nugget mulch is good for the _garden. No greater myth has worked its way into our gardening assumptions than this one. There's nothing natural about mulching a garden with bark nuggets. There's no ecosystem on the planet where the trees shed their bark in nuggets and spread it evenly on the ground. Aside from the fact that I personally find it aesthetically displeasing, the truth is that the microorganisms that break down wood use nitrogen, which gets stolen from your plants. Homemade compost, used as a top-dressing, is far more effective in smothering weeds, conserving moisture, and, with the aid of earthworms, improving the soil. For plants that evolved in stony soil, gravel mulch is appropriate. For some crops, such as strawberries and tomatoes, straw or hay mulch is beneficial. I realize I'm the lone voice in the wind when it comes to my disdain for bark nugget mulch, but consider life without it. If you can find a beautiful garden in a book or magazine that is bark-nugget-mulched, send me the pages. I'll eat them.--Bob Proctor is artistic director at Denver Botanic Gardens. His latest book is _Passionate _Gardening (Fulcrum, 2000), co-authored by Lauren Springer. """""""""""" To soften brown sugar, add an apple wedge to the container; let stand for 1-2 days. Or, microwave sugar, covered, on HIGH for 30-60 seconds. Be sure sugar does not melt. 333333333333 Notices Marjorie Arnott, whose brailling business has grown, now has 130 knitting books, 126 crochet books, 52 cookbooks, and 26 general interest books available in her catalog. For prices and more information, contact her at 480-345-8773 or write in braille to 4233 East Lacosta Dr., Chandler, AZ 85249. Her e-mail address is marnott@extremezone.com; her website is www.cs.cmu.edu/~rowan/_& marjorie-crafts.html. Jos‚ Inacio Laurini would like a donated copy of "The Keyboard Hacker's Backpack." Perhaps one of you could make a disc copy for him. Reach him at 324 C“nego Motta Street, Cabre£va, SP, Brasil. His e-mail address is jilaurini@cabreuva.com. For sale: braille and taped cookbooks, hymnals, braille music and poetry books, a dictionary on cassette, slates and styluses, other braille books, an abacus, cassette mailers, braille notebooks, and more. Write to G.A. Maiden, 3526 Hwy 42 W, Carrollton, KY 41008. NBP has about 100 boxes of braille paper left over from a job, which we want to sell at a discount to help make room in our warehouse. The Tractor- feed format continuous form 80-pound "Endleaf" paper comes in two sizes: 8.5@9 by 11@91 and 12@9 by 12@94 Each sells for $33 per box of 1500 sheets. We're selling whole boxes only. To order, call our Customer Service department at 800-548-7323 in the U.S., or 617-266-6160 ext 20; or email orders@nbp.org. Supplies are limited! 333333333333 MAKE IT FROM A MIX DRIED FRUIT-OATMEAL MUFFINS Makes 12 muffins Ingredients: 1 pkg. (15.6 oz.) Pillsbury Cranberry Quick Bread & Muffin Mix; 1 cup dried fruit bits, like Sunmaid, divided; 3/4 cup old-fashioned oats, divided; 2 tsp. grated lemon zest; 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon; 1-1/4 cups milk. Directions: Heat oven to 400 degrees. Prepare muffins according to package directions, using 1-1/4 cups milk. Stir in 1/2 cup dried fruit, 1/2 cup oats, 2 tsp. grated lemon zest, and 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon. Divide batter among 12 greased muffin cups. Bake 15 min. In bowl, combine remaining dried fruit and oats. Press dried fruit mixture on top of each muffin. Bake 5 min. more, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Per serving: cal. 292; pro. 6g; carb. 46g; fat 10g; fiber 3g; chol. 39mg. HEALTH BENEFIT. Curb hunger with oatmeal. The fiber-rich grain helps prevent cravings by balancing the body's blood sugar. """""""""""" Keep honey, molasses and marshmallow cream from sticking to a measuring cup by coating it with nonstick spray. If oil is used in the recipe, measure it first. 333333333333 TICKET TO LOVE By Linda Sandifer _Woman's _World March 25, 2003 __When Danni got a look at the officer who was about to give her a speeding ticket, she had an idea that her day might be going from bad to ... _better. The blare of the siren brought Danni Clark's foot off the accelerator as her eyes shot to the rearview mirror and the police car with lights flashing. "Oh, no. I'll never get there on time now." Her nephew's school was just ahead. She drove into the parking lot and hoped Eric's classroom was on the backside of the building so he wouldn't witness this embarrassment. Although policemen were his heroes, he probably wouldn't enjoy seeing this one in action--especially since the delay might mean Eric would have to face the History Day judges without his made-to- scale pyramid and miniature mummy. His project should have been at the school last night, but the remote control that operated the pyramid's secret vault had required last minute repairs. The patrol car came to a stop behind her and Danni felt close to tears. Her day had started with a call for help from her sister at 5 a.m., and it had been frantic ever since. As the officer approached the car, she couldn't help but notice how handsome he was. And he probably has a bunch of kids, she thought, and a wife to go along with them. A man that good-looking can't be single. "Good morning, miss," the name on his tag was Officer Preston. "Do you know you were driving fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit in a school zone? I'll need to see your driver's license and registration." "Yes, of course." She rummaged in her handbag for the license, realizing that her response answered both his question and his request. As she collected the registration from the glove box, she tried to explain. "My sister went into labor this morning--two weeks early--and she asked me to deliver Eric's history project to school and then there was an accident on the interstate and I'm already late for work and I still have to get the pyramid and mummy into the gym and I don't know where the gym is. Oh, and this is my sister's car--the pyramid wouldn't fit in mine." "Sounds more like a Monday than a Friday," the officer said in a sympathetic voice. Danni collapsed back against the seat, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, thinking, __Well, you finally got your wish, Danni. You've been wanting to meet up with a drop-dead gorgeous hunk for _years. He told her he was sorry, but he was going to have to give her a ticket. While he wrote it out, Danni fed her curiosity by noticing that he wasn't wearing a wedding band. If this was a scene from a romance novel, he would be so smitten with me that he'd make sure he had my phone number before he returned to his patrol car. He tore the ticket off the pad and handed it to her. She decided she'd been reading way too many romance novels. "Thank you." She stared down at the paper in her hand. "I've never gotten a ticket before." He chuckled, "I think that's the first time I've been thanked for issuing a citation." He glanced past her to the pyramid poking up from the SUV's rear cargo area. "You know, I could help you get that to the gym. I went to school here, so I know the place by heart." Her spirits lifted. "You do?" "Sure. Come on." She followed him to the cargo door. While she collected the doll-size mummy in its coffin box, he carefully gathered the flat piece of board that held Eric's pyramid and all the connecting wires and remote control. Barely able to see over its peak, he let her lead the way into the school. "I really appreciate you doing this," she said, opening doors for him. "No problem. Police officers are here to help." His blue eyes teased from over the top of the pyramid. "I don't know how you got this into the car, though." His muscles were straining under the load. "Did your nephew make it out of lead?" She laughed. "No. Just plaster of Paris. I didn't have to load it. My brother-in-law put it in the SUV last night. How I was going to get it into the school was the last thing on anybody's mind this morning." Inside the building, Officer Preston went straight to the gym. Its expanse was filled with students and long tables replete with projects. Eric spotted Danni and rushed to meet her. "Aunt Danni! Boy, am I glad to see you. I told my teacher that you'd be here real soon." He was clearly curious about Officer Preston, but before he could ask why he was there, Danni went to work helping him set up the project. She wished Eric luck and kissed him goodbye. Officer Preston escorted her to her car. "Do you have to lug that thing out of here tonight?" He jokingly rubbed a muscle in his arm. Danni smiled as she climbed into her car. "Yes," she said with a sigh, "the gym has to be cleared for a ball game, but I can always snare another police officer now that I know how it's done." Laughing, he headed back to his patrol car. "I'll tell you what, say when and I'll come back to help you." Danni told him the time and watched him drive away, thinking it was nice of him to offer. She didn't actually expect him to follow through, but when she returned that afternoon with Eric, there was Officer Preston, out of uniform and leaning against a blue sports car, looking more handsome than before. He spoke to Eric first. "Well, how did you do?" "I got first place!" Eric said proudly. "Even got a trophy. Come see it." Eric ran into the school, leaving them to follow. Officer Preston fell into step beside Danni. "And your sister?" he asked. "How did she do?" Danni flashed a smile from over her shoulder. "Another boy." "I guess you'll want to go to the hospital to see her?" "Yes, but I won't stay long. She's tired." Just then, he caught her arm and drew her out of the path of an oncoming parent carrying a large cardboard display. His hand shifted to the small of her back in a natural gesture. Moving again, he leaned closer to her ear and, in his easy way, said, "Would you care to join me for dinner when you're done at the hospital? That is, if you don't have a boyfriend tucked away somewhere." Danni's heart stuttered, and yet the question seemed as natural as if he'd asked it a hundred times already. To her amazement, her reply came just as easily. "After the day I've had, dinner sounds wonderful." "Great. I'll follow you to the hospital." Danni thought about asking him to give her time to run home and change, but decided to just go with the moment. She did ask one question: his first name, which he told her was Jared. A few minutes later, she was leading the way from the parking lot. On the dashboard, the speeding ticket fluttered when the air conditioning caught it. She collected it and tucked it into her purse. Call it woman's intuition, but she sensed it wasn't an ordinary speeding ticket. No, something right smack in the center of Danni's heart told her that she had just been issued her long-awaited ticket to love. """""""""""" Line crisper drawers with paper towels so you don't have to clean the drawer--just toss the dirty paper towels and replace with clean ones every week. 333333333333 Julia's Jottings By Mrs. Julia Kimbell 75 Lythemere Orton Malborne Peterborough PE2 5NX England whitetiger2@ntlworld.com On 13th April, I faced what I think was my biggest challenge to date: I walked the London Marathon, all 26 miles. If you are all sitting there thinking I'm right off my trolley, then I think your are right! It all came about last year after my hubby, myself and dog did a 16 mile sponsored walk for the charity DeafBlind UK (DBUK), of which I am a member. Their fund raising department emailed me to ask--ever so sweetly--if I would consider walking the London Marathon for them. They would understand if I said no, but the decision was mine. After the initial shock and hoots of laughter, I thought about it and discussed it with John to see what he thought and if he minded. He said it was a challenge and no, he didn't mind, so I emailed DBUK back and said yes, I would do it, if they would arrange for the training. It's a deal, they said! 26.2 miles is a heck of a long way. I knew that, and I knew also it would be tough. It was far tougher than I ever dreamed, but as I enjoy walking and do a lot of it, having a Border Collie, I didn't think it would be too bad. Little did I know! Being Deaf and Blind, I needed a guide. Two of DBUK's staff, 28-year-old Leonie--whose bright idea it actually had been--and 57-year-old Angie, a good friend of mine, said they wanted to go with me, to take turns on each arm. Training started in earnest in January with an offer from the DBUK head office maintenance manager, Alan, to take me walking one afternoon a week. Alan being a really nice bloke, I accepted, and every Tuesday afternoon we would walk for about 3 hours, covering ten or so miles. Knowing that I loved dogs, Alan would stop every dog owner and ask if I could meet their dogs, which would break the monotony of such long fast walking, which, believe you me, can be a grinding bore! Angie would come every Sunday she could for us to get some practice in, and the rest of the time I just walked Gypsy as much as I could with a friend. We also did do one 20 mile walk as a team. As the big day drew ever closer, we became more apprehensive, as we knew that we hadn't had enough training, as walking uses much less energy than running. Were we fit enough? I am one of those people who will not give up, as I would then feel I have let everyone--myself included--down. It was a 4:15 a.m. start for me on Marathon day. John got up too to see me off and to wish me luck. Leonie and Angie picked me up at 5, as we had to meet our coach with other runners on board at 5:30. I dozed most of the way to London. It was a lovely crisp clear morning when we arrived at 7:30 at our starting point--Greenwich Park. The fast runners were to start at 9 AM and the slower ones not till 9:45, so to fill in time, we went for a coffee and cake and natter till it was time to go to the starting line. It was an amazing experience. I was led to believe there would be a lot of pushing and shoving, but it never happened that way. Everyone was very civilised, wishing each other luck. One chap was dressed as Mr. Happy, one of The Mr. And Little Miss cartoon characters for children. (They all have names like Mr. Noisy and Little Miss Giggles. They are all round like a cushion with little arms and legs. Mr Happy is yellow with a big smile on his front.) That chap must have got very hot running dressed like that! Another chap was dressed as a rhino. There was also a group of young men running in miniskirts, which made us giggle. My overriding impression of the route was the amazing amount of litter. At times we were just wading through it. It was mostly discarded drinks bottles and sachets. It was unavoidable, as no one would have had enough pockets to put their rubbish in. So there were vans going around clearing it away as best they could. Nearly all the pubs and cafes on the route had speakers outside blasting nice jolly music, which I found amusing. It was when we reached the 13 mile point that I started to feel the strain. It was a warm day. The sun was out, but I didn't really notice it that much. We didn't talk much, needing to concentrate on our walking. We made one stop at the St. Jon's ambulance to have our blisters patched up. Then on we plodded. I was ready to give up at 20 miles but said to my escorts we couldn't go so far and then go home with nothing to show for it. I don't remember a lot of the last 6 miles. We were so tired. The last 3 miles were the worst. Angie's hips hurt, Leonie's knee ached, and the pain in my feet was almost unbearable. By that time we didn't have a best foot to put forward. It was a case of taking one step at a time and telling ourselves it was one step nearer the finish. When we did cross the line, about 9 hours after we started, I just burst into tears, from the pain in my feet and the relief of having done it. But the next day I felt euphoric. Will I do it again? At the moment I say no. I did what I set out to do, but who knows? If someone is persuasive enough I might be mad enough to have another go! """""""""""" Make softener last longer. Don't spend a fortune on fabric softener sheets. Simply pour 2 oz. liquid softener into a 16-oz. spray bottle and fill with water. After placing wet clothes in the dryer, squirt them a couple of times with the mixture. You'll get the same results, and the bottle will last 10 times longer than a box of sheets. 333333333333 5 MONEY RULES EVERY WOMAN MUST KNOW By Galina Espinoza _Redbook May 2003 >From the smart way to invest to easy moves that'll cut your taxes, read on for the information you need--now more then ever. Financially speaking, we bet you _loved the nineties. For much of that decade, it seemed that there was only one size your bank account could become: bigger. But these days, with unemployment up, the stock market down, and your beloved venti cappuccinos costing a hefty four bucks, chances are you're feeling the squeeze on all sides. Which makes this the perfect time to take a good long look at the financial life that you've been leading. Fortunately, we're here to help. We've asked top financial experts to share smart advice that'll not only see you through this rocky economic time but keep you flush in the future, too. 1. __Always invest in _stocks. Given that the Standard & Poor's 500 stock index has dropped in each of the past three years, and that its 23.4 percent decline in 2002 was the worst showing in three decades, it's possible you're considering abandoning equities. After all, why should you risk investing your family's hard-earned dough--which must grow faster than the rate of inflation if it's going to cover, say, college tuition bills-- in something that's performing so badly? Because markets go both up and down, that's why. And over time, no other asset class--not bonds, real estate, or certificates of deposit--has delivered a higher average rate of return than stocks. And because stock prices have sunk, you now have a prime opportunity to follow the golden rule of equity investing: Buy low (i.e., at a good price) and sell high (at a profit). That's true whether you're buying individual stocks or purchasing them through a stock mutual fund. The trouble is, "emotionally, that can be hard to do," admits Deborah Thomas, a certified financial planner in Portland, Oregon. That's why she suggests several steps to staying secure when you buy stocks. First, examine your existing holdings. Experts generally recommend that if you're investing for the long term--say ten years or more, as most 30-something couples are--you'll want to keep around 69 percent of your money in the stock market. (To avoid putting all your financial eggs in one basket, you should round out your portfolio with bonds, real estate, and cash.) Since you may want to spend some time deciding where to shift that money from (a municipal bond fund? certificate of deposit?), and because you may feel a whole lot more comfortable _easing your way deeper into the stock market, you'll probably want to increase your holdings gradually--for instance, by purchasing $500 to $1,000 worth of stocks every month until you reach your goal. Already have that amount in equities? Good going. Now analyze the type of stocks you own. What you want is a broad mix: In other words, if you're invested mostly in large American companies, consider adding some smaller ones and some international stocks. That way, if one portion of your portfolio plummets, with any luck the performance of your other holdings will balance things out. How much you should invest in different types of stocks depends on several factors, including how much risk you can stomach. If you can't sleep for fear of the stock market dipping, then smaller, newer companies without profitable track records aren't for you. Another factor: how much time you have before you'll need to tap that money. To determine the mix that's right for you, consider consulting a financial planner. To find one near you, go to cfp-ca.org. 2. __Prioritize your debt _payments. Your mortgage, your car loan, your credit card bills--every month, you pay off what you can, right? But if you're not carefully thinking through which of your debts should be paid first, you could be shelling out more than you have to. So get strategic. Put all your bills in a pile, placing on top the ones that charge the highest interest rates but offer no tax benefits. You'll want to repay that debt first. That means credit cards, which charge on average a steep 13.8 percent interest that isn't tax deductible. And while it might feel swell to own your home free and clear, why double up on mortgage payments when the interest rate you're paying is probably less than 6 percent (if you're paying more, talk to your bank about refinancing) and a portion of that interest comes with a break from the IRS? In between these two extremes are your student loans (depending on your income, part of the interest here may be deductible) and your car loan (no tax savings, but right now many dealers are offering zero percent financing for six months or longer). Can't bear to sort out your debt yourself? No problem. Consult with any of several excellent nonprofit organizations, including the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org) and American Family Debt Counseling Centers (credit-america.com). Another debt-reducing move: Call your credit card company and ask for a lower interest rate. Most of the time, if you simply say that you're going to transfer your outstanding balance to another card company, they'll give you a better deal. If they don't, ditch'em--and find cards with low rates at bankrate.com. 3. __Be prepared to take care of your kids and yourself on your _own. One of the nicest perks of being married is the wonderful sense of security that comes from knowing someone is looking out for you and your family. But that doesn't mean you should play a passive role money-wise by letting your husband handle all of the financial responsibilities, says Freida Kavouras, a partner in the personal financial counseling practice at Ernst & Young. Need convincing? Consider this: Not only do almost half of all marriages end in divorce, but also the median age at which an American woman is widowed is 58. That's why you have to take steps to prepare for being the sole head of your household. First, whether you're a working or stay-at- home mom, establish a credit history by, say, having your own checking account or keeping some of the household bills in your name. Just make sure you pay those bills on time to avoid creating a negative credit report. You should also sock away your own retirement savings, through either a spousal IRA for stay-at-home moms or a 401(k) plan at work. (For more details, see tip 5.) Similarly, have at least one credit card in your name, but be careful: Nothing can ruin your financial security faster than massive amounts of credit card debts. If your husband is the primary breadwinner, have him find out what kind of disability insurance he's eligible for. Corporate plans typically offer anywhere from 40 to 60 percent of the lost salary. And if your husband's policy falls at the low end of the scale, consider purchasing additional coverage. Finally, don't assume that if your husband dies before you do, everything held in his name will automatically become yours. As Kavouras cautions, every state has different laws regarding how property passes if the person you're married to doesn't have a will--and many say that your spouse's parents or children are allowed a cut of his assets. Even if your kids are under 18, your control over any money they inherit could be limited, i.e., you might be able to use it only for their expenses, such as schooling. That could leave you with less money than you need to make ends meet. "So if your husband doesn't have a will," Kavouris says, "ask him to draw one up now to help protect your financial future." 4. __Stiff the taxman on health--and child-care _costs. Many large companies offer their employees a way to cut their IRS bills on both these expenses. How? By providing a flexible spending account. Check with your employer's human resources department to find out if your company offers an FSA, and how to sign up. A dependent-care FSA, for which you qualify only if there isn't a full-time parent (defined as someone with no earned income) at home, allows you to set aside $5,000 a year from your pretax paycheck for child-care-related costs, such as babysitting and day camp. Then there's the health care FSA; the amount you can contribute here varies according to employer, but the idea is similar: Using pretax dollars, you stash away money for any family medical expenses that aren't covered by your insurance plan, including contact lenses and prescription co-payments. To decide how much you should earmark for each FSA, add up as many receipts from the most recent year as you can find (except for those that weren't typical). Estimate carefully, because with either type of account, you lose whatever money you don't use. 5. __Set money aside before you cash your _paycheck. Sure, it's easy to get used to the perks your paychecks afford, such as those extra weekend getaways and impulse shoe purchases. And while no one's saying you have to live like a monk, you do have to make sure you squirrel away enough for long-term goals, such as that bigger house you might like to own someday. So take advantage of as many automatic-withdrawal plans as you can. Start by signing up for your company's 401(k) plan, putting away, at a minimum, the amount your employer matches, but ideally at least 10 percent. If your company doesn't offer a 401(k) option, contact your bank, your insurance agent or a mutual fund company and arrange to have a set monthly contribution made to a Roth IRA. (Note: Couples earning more than $150,000 a year aren't allowed to put away as much, and those who earn more than $160,000 a year can't use a Roth IRA at all.) If you're a stay-at-home mom, you can contribute up to $3,000 a year--no matter what your husband earns-- to a spousal IRA. Finally, plan for the proverbial rainy day: Build up an emergency fund by setting aside money every month until you've accumulated savings equal to three to six months' worth of living expenses. Keep it in a money market fund; it offers higher interest than a traditional savings account, but with the same liquidity. Translation: You can get your hands on that cash whenever you need it. Your credit questions--answered __My credit card company sent me a "convenience" check to pay my bills. Should I use _it? Absolutely not! That's like taking a cash advance on your credit card, which means you'll start accruing interest as soon as you cash it--and at a rate typically above 20 percent. __My favorite store is offering a 10 percent discount on my first purchase if I sign up for its credit card. Should I do _it? That initial discount is nice, but let's say you charge a $1,000 shopping spree and can pay only the minimum amount due every month. If you're charged 18 percent interest (which isn't unusual with a store credit card), it'll take you almost 13 years and cost you more than $1,000 in interest to pay it off. So your best bet is to pay the balance in full when you get the bill (or as soon as possible), then cut up the card. __We don't have an emergency fund, and I'm worried about my husband or me losing our job. Is there any way to ensure we'll be able to provide for our family if one of us is out of _work? Let your worries motivate you to set aside some money--even a small amount--for an unforeseen catastrophe, like unemployment (reread tip 5 for details). If you haven't yet done so and you own a home, you should apply for a home equity line of credit. Do it now, because if you lose your job, your bank won't approve you. For a fee of $25 to $50 a year, you'll have access to a line of credit at an interest rate which lately has been hovering below 6 percent--and that beats charging monthly groceries on your credit card and paying 20 percent or higher. """""""""""" Mix baking soda with a few cloves and sprinkle on carpeting to absorb musty odors; vacuum in the morning. 333333333333